When the Time Comes
by DarkSwanApprentice
Summary: It’s after the rebels’ narrow escape, after Rey shuts the door in Kylo Ren’s face. They find something in each other, an unspoken agreement that neither can deny will have to end sooner or later. When the time comes, one will come out victorious, but they will both lose what they’ve found in each other. Unless they make a difficult choice.
1. chapter 1

It started a month or so after she shut the door in his face and left him on that barren planet. They both thought the connection between them was broken with Snoke dead, he had created it in the first place. About a week after Kylo Ren declared he wanted to rule the galaxy with Rey, he realized the connection still existed. How else could he have appeared before her despite still being in the abandoned rebel base?

He began to concentrate on controlling it, he didn't know why. Maybe he wanted to lash out at her, maybe to plead his case, but he knew he had to see her. Once in his room at night, alone and in peace, he would reach out.

Finally, on the third night, he was successful. He finally saw her, standing before him. Her backed turned to him, but once she sensed his presence she whipped around. She wasn't happy to see him. She screamed for all she was worth, told him to leave at once, not to bother her again. He simply told her he would return, and she warned him to stay away.

Rey POV:

When it became apparent to Rey that he had learned to control the connection between them, she made it her mission to block him out. She couldn't handle seeing him. For those brief and relief filled few minutes, when he was fighting with her and had protected her from Snoke, she thought he would return with her, and she would tell of how he had turned his back to the First Order and saved her life. And then he asked her to rule at his side, she refused.

After he didn't return again for a week, she concluded that the effort she put into breaking the connection worked. She just hoped she was right, and he wasn't biding his time and waiting to make a reappearance.

Kylo POV:

She was blocking him out, he could feel it. Try as he might, he couldn't break through to see her. Her anger with him was too strong and was fueling the wall she put up. Even so, he continued to try. Maybe he would catch her in a weak moment or she would finally just give up and let him in.

One night, he was preparing for bed. He was exhausted, being the new Supreme Leader came with many more responsibilities. He sat on the edge of his bed and ran his hands through his hair, sighing and ready for a deep sleep. He stood and turned to the side, and there she was.

He hadn't even made an effort to see her. She was just there, and in a very deep sleep. He wondered if she called to him in her sleep, or if she had accidentally let her guard down.

That was when she woke up, startled at not knowing where she was until she bolted up and became very alert. She slowly turned to see him standing and watching her.

"This is impossible, I severed this connection." She looked at him accusingly.

"Apparently not." Kylo said with an air of arrogance.

"Leave me alone." She turned away from him. She was trying to block him out again and go back to wherever she was.

He didn't know what to say, this was a very unexpected visit. He never had a plan of what to say to her anyway, so he just watched her in silence.

Apparently she could feel him staring her down so she threw up her hsnds and turned around.

"Well what do you want?" She demanded, walking back to him.

He didn't have anything to say, he couldn't think of what would make her understand him. Understand why he did what he did. His choice killed her inside, he knew it. She saw so much potential him, he couldn't fathom why but she did. He would never see in himself what she did.

Without a word, he stepped forward into her personal space. She didn't back down. She wasn't afraid of him, she knew he wouldn't hurt her, and he found it alluring. She simply started into his eyes.

He took another step forward, close enough that if he simply raised his hand, he would touch her.

So he did.

Her hair was down and showered her shoulders. He reached a hand up to brush it back, touching her neck in the process.

They both felt it, the electricity that coursed through them at that one touch. He froze his hand and looked into her eyes, where there had been determination and anger seconds before, there was now surprised and vulnerability. She felt it too, it sent a wave down her spine.

He brushed her cheek with a thumb and leaned closer, slowly asking for permission. When she didn't move away he kissed her once, to see what it felt like.

Nothing had ever been so exhilarating for him. He thought the greatest release of pain and tension had been when he had used his lightsaber to rid himself of his father, he thought that was the great solution to his problem. No, it was here, this. He had been wrong.

He pulled away and her eyes remained closed, she released a breath she had been holding and looked up at him.

She gripped his arm just above his elbow, and they both leaned in at once, touching foreheads and breathing deeply. This was entirely new territory.

"Ben." She said his given name as softly as he had ever heard her speak.

He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes to stare at her. She hadn't called him that since before he did what he did.

It was all downhill from there, an unspoken agreement between them that this was the release they had been seeking. While they were together, everything melted away. The war, the loss, the agony of the weight they both had to bear, and most importantly, the fact that they were meant to be the worst of enemies.

They almost never spoke, most nights they would find each other and fall into bed. They both knew the inevitable was coming, one day the war would come to an end, and one of them would lose, and maybe pay the ultimate price for their cause. But until that moment came, they found what they needed in each other.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey did her best to block out her personal feelings when it came to Ben. She knew she couldn't get attached to him, one day they would have to face each other and one of them would win the war. It was simple really, a sort of therapy. They would find each other, release the tension, and she would leave him in silence. Rarely were words exchanged, only when necessary.

When she found her mind wandering to him, she would distract herself. She couldn't afford to indulge anything personal. Her Ben, the Ben she thought she had pulled into the light, was dead and gone. Nothing could change that, she told herself.

He's gone.

She had to keep repeating that over and over in her head. Kylo Ren replaced him, that was all there was to it.

Ben POV

He fought with his feelings. On one hand he wanted to explore what they could have together if they were more than just physical lovers, on the other it could only end in disaster. He had a cause he had been fighting for for too long now, and so did she. They would both do well to remember their places and not let their personal feelings get in the way.

And yet every night that she came to him, it was the greatest feeling he had ever experienced. Bodily urges aside, he knew no one else could stir up the kind of joy he hadn't felt since he was a child.

He wondered if she struggled with her emotions as well.

They could both feel it looming over them. The rebels had gained numbers by the thousands, their great escape from the barren salt planet had aroused a great awakening in the fight against the First Order. The end was near, one of them would emerge in victory. The other one banished, imprisoned, or dead.

One night Ben spoke to her. This was abnormal, she did most of the little bit of talking that occurred. But he felt like they both needed closure. The way things were left when he killed Snoke to save her, he didn't like it. They never discussed it properly.

"We need to talk." He said in his brooding voice. She had gotten up from his bed and was dressing. She froze, her shirt halfway on, still barefoot.

"There's nothing to say." She replied without looking at him.

"I don't believe that." He stood up and approached her from behind. "There's a lot of unsaid things between us."

Now he was directly behind her, her back to his chest, his hands at her waist, pulling her to him. She placed her hands on his arms and leaned her head back, allowing him to comfort her this one time. Like him, she knew things were nearing an end.

"Why couldn't you have just come with me?" Rey asked in a shaken voice.

He sighed and held her just a little tighter.

"You can't save me from myself, I'm too far gone."

"No, you're not." She turned around in his arms to look up at him, which, along with speaking, was another rare occurrence in their relationship.

"You can come with me, you can leave all of this behind."

"You and I both know that wouldn't end well. I've done too much damage."

"Your mother believes in you as well, she wouldn't allow any harm."

There it was, she had touched a weak spot within him. His mother, other than Rey and his long gone father, was the only person in the galaxy who had any sort of confidence in him. He felt the pull, to leave with Rey and run to his mother's side. Allow her to hold and comfort him like when he was a child.

Rey could see the conflict in his eyes, she could sense it. She knew she had touched a very sensitive nerve.

"My mother is better off without me." He didn't know if that was true.

"I can see when you're mentioned that she'd do anything to have you back." She ran her hands up his chest and rested them. "Please, Ben."

Like pouring salt on a wound. Every time she said his name like that, she pulled at him and he had to fight his urges.

But staying where he was was the best thing. To protect his mother, Rey, and himself, he would stay right where he was.

"I can't." He released her and stepped back. He could see that it stung her. For a moment, she remained, her hands still in the air where they had been on her.

"You'll understand someday."

She began to cry. "Please don't do this again. You can come with me, I'll keep you safe."

He was staring at the ground. "I'm not the one who needs to remain safe."

She let out a couple of sobs, covered her hand with her mouth, and turned away. Why was she having such a hard time with this? She had scolded herself over and over to remain emotionally detached, come what may. Meanwhile, he seemed to have no problem crushing this, whatever it was they had together.

She was just getting ready to break the connection she had mastered control of so well. He could feel it, and he stole one last look at her.

At once, and seemingly out of his control, he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to him, wrapping an arm around her waist and placing the other hand on her face, getting a tight enough grip on both to keep her in place. He kissed her, one last time. He put everything into it that he couldn't muster up the courage to say out loud. How grateful he was that she continued to have hope for him, how much he cared for her for it, how badly he wanted her to remain safe.

She moved with him, wringing both hands up into his hair and trying to convey her feelings as well. Everything she pushed away and compartmentalized, she let loose like a flood. She couldn't deny, she wasn't ready to leave him. She would probably never be ready. Being separated from him would leave a hole in her that, try as she might, would never really be filled.

They parted and he rested his forehead on hers, both of them breathing deeply. Within moments, she was gone, vanished from his grasp, and he was left holding air.

Suddenly, raged filled him. That was it, he blew his last chance. He felt the wall she had put up before their encounters began, it sprung up like a weed. She was gone, and the next time he would see her she would either be trying to kill him, in restraints at his mercy, or lost to him forever.


	3. Chapter 3

She tossed and turned in her bed. Two weeks had passed since they separated, and she hadn't had a restful night since. She had nightmares of him being close enough to grasp, he would reach out to her and she would try to keep him with her. Then in a second, he was ripped away. The last thing she would see was his eyes, longing and sad.

She wondered if he was tormented this way, probably not, he didn't seem to care the last time they were face to face. Starting her physical relationship with him had been the worst decision she had ever made.

She refused to call him Ben anymore, but she couldn't bring herself to call him Kylo Ren either. Instead she used him, his, and he, to refer to him. Saying his given name and his adopted name would hurt to her core.

She felt him reaching out for her every so often, she was so tempted to take down the wall and fall back into his arms, but she remained defiant. She had even mastered keeping him out in her sleep, what little sleep she got.

They were on their way to a hideaway, a planet off the beaten path of the First Order. There, maybe she could truly forget him. Lose herself in her training and the objective to win the war.

Ben POV

He was more feared than ever, probably because he threw himself into his role as the Supreme Leader. Storm troopers ducked away every time they crossed his path, there was not one person left in the galaxy that wasn't afraid of him.

Save for one, but he pushed that out of his mind.

"Hux!" He shouted. The irritating general immediately appeared before him, always lurking nearby to make sure he could fulfill his master's wish without punishment.

"What is our progress?" He demanded.

"We lost them I'm afraid, somewhere around here." Hux pointed at the map of the system they were in.

"Dammit, find them!" Ben shouted in the general's face, who immediately started barking orders.

They were tracking down the rebellion. He was determined to end this, maybe by ending it, his torment would end. She was a weakness he couldn't afford. He would snuff her out and be done with it. Slaughter the rebellion, capture his mother and lock her somewhere for the rest of her days. Somewhere she wouldn't be a martyr but wouldn't be killed either. That was a line even he wouldn't cross, his mother would remain alive. She would not die at his hand.

Rey POV

When they finally arrived she felt better to be in open air and no longer trapped in the metal confines of a ship. She felt like she could stretch out and try to forget the man who had a hold on her.

Until night, when she was left alone. She had been right about forgetting him, but only during the day. At night she was left to her own devices. She beat herself up inside, wondering why it was so hard to forget someone she was supposed to have no connection to. She was sleeping with him, that's all it was. She didn't even linger after, she dressed and severed the connection. It was supposed to be simple, but as a young adult with no prior experiences with this sort of thing, she was starting to realize that maybe it wasn't that simple.

She had been studying the ancient Jedi texts she had stolen without Luke Skywalker's knowledge. Without him here, she was on her own. She knew people looked to her, she was now known across the galaxy as The Last Jedi. Her, a scavenger from Jakku, now bearing the weight of the survival of everyone and the victory in the war. Sometimes it was too much to bear and she was a breath away from letting him back in and losing herself. But she couldn't allow it, it was better to break it off sooner rather than later. The next time they saw each other, he would likely be trying to kill her. That hurt more than anything she had ever felt, and her parents had abandoned her. She could see the truth of it in his mind, he didn't bother to hide it from her.

Everything around her was a ticking time bomb. The end was near, she could feel it. That was the price she paid for being so in tune to the energy around her, she could feel the tension. She wondered how many of the faces she saw would be gone before long. How much time did she have left with Finn or Poe? How much time did she herself have left?

All she could do was train herself the best she could to try to ensure the survival of the rebellion.

It couldn't have been a week after they landed, she was midway through a book of the texts, when people were scattering. She immediately set out to find General Organa. This couldn't be it, he couldn't be here. She wasn't ready.

"General!" She said as she arrived on the ship. They were using it as their base, as this planet hadn't been inhabited for who knows how long.

"They're here." She said, ferociously working at a screen. Whether to leave the planet or mount an attack, she wasn't sure.

 _No!_ Rey thought to herself. She wasn't ready, for any of it. If she was captured, she would be brought to him. She was sure no one would be permitted to kill her, the thought of him personally seeing to her death was frightening.

"Rey!" General Organa was trying to get her attention. "Listen to me, go to the commons, we are forming a plan there."

With that, Rey left the room in a hurry. She stopped to grab the lightsaber she had tracked down and been toying with to make it work. She had paid a hefty price for it, everything she had, even though it wasn't working properly. She hoped it wouldn't fail her.

 **Ben POV**

"Supreme Leader, we've found them."

He was elated at the news, the rebellion had been found on some god forsaken planet, uninhabited, until now. They were using it as a base, thinking they were out of the First Order's reach. Well that was about to change.

"Prepare my ship, I will lead the charge. Don't follow until I give the order." He instructed the general, who gave him a nasty look. He knew what Hux was thinking, but he didn't care that he was letting his personal matters interfere. This was something he needed to do.

He mentally prepared himself. He knew what he was facing. He was taking what storm troopers could fit on his ship, and he would personally make sure The Last Jedi was wiped away, along with anyone's hope. As he dressed, he continually told himself that he could do this. He needed to. The last thing he had to do was slip on the brand new helmet he had made. This would be the first time he wore it, after he destroyed his last one he had a new one made as quickly as possible.

He steeled himself and reached for the button to open the door to his bedroom. But he stopped. If it came down to it, could he kill her? He couldn't keep her prisoner, there would be a never-ending rescue mission to retrieve their greatest hope.

No, he would have to. He would do it himself, just as he had killed Han Solo.

He marched to his ship and instructed the pilot to take them to the uncharted planet. Under his mask, he didn't have to worry about keeping up a facade for the men at his command. He was able to express his emotions to himself, he was on a roller coaster of them. Fear, rage, concern. And doubt, that he could follow through with what he needed to do.

Minutes later, they landed. The door opened and gave way to a wild scene. Vegetation everywhere. He wondered if any wildlife occupied the planet. Those weren't his worry, the rebellion ship was a few hundred yards away, but any number of them could be hiding, waiting to launch a surprise attack. He wondered where she was, probably stowed away to be kept safe.

This was it, it was here and now, everything would end.


	4. Chapter 4

Rey POV

They were here, but they didn't send in a battalion of ships and storm troopers. Instead, his ship came alone. She could see it in the distance before it landed a good distance away.

Finn reported that, through a scope, he saw around 20 of them, and Kylo Ren himself. He was here himself with a handful of men to protect him. Rey knew what she had to do.

She dashed back from her position to find General Organa, in the ship and strategizing. She would be giving orders from here.

"Let me go to him." Rey simply said.

The general stopped everything she was doing and looked at the girl as if she suggested handing herself over to him on a silver platter.

"He's not a danger to me."

"He's a danger to all of us." Organa said, with a hint of pain in her eyes.

"He won't hurt me, please. I know what to do." Rey begged, trying to stress the urgency of the situation without giving too much away.

Her leader must have seen something, because she simply nodded. At that, Rey took off as fast as she could to the front of the line. She had her saber that she still wasn't sure would work if she needed it, and she found Finn.

"Hold off unless they attack." She instructed him.

"What are you planning to do?" He asked her jokingly. He didn't realize how serious this was.

"I've got this." She patted his shoulder and slowly made her way forward.

"Rey!" He said in an urgent tone, but she kept walking, waving for him to stay put.

On and on she marched, expecting him at any second and ready to fight if she had to.

She was on edge, anxiously hoping this would go the way she thought it would. She had to be a hundred yards or so in front of the rest. Although she was certain they were moving slowly forward to watch her back.

Suddenly, there he was. Shockingly black in a sea of bright green plants.

"I could feel you." He said, his voice robotic with his mask.

Of course, he sensed her and ordered his men to stay put. She stared him down for a minute.

"Do you really need that mask?" She simply asked. "This is me you're talking to."

For a second she thought he would deny any connection with her, he seemed to be staring into her very soul. Then he raised his hands and removed it, dropping it to the ground.

"I suppose I don't." He said in his deep voice. It hadn't occurred to her how much she missed him, his face, his eyes. She looked him up and down, recalling nights spent with him in his bed. They had never done any actual sleeping, although she wished she had now. She never really saw his vulnerable side.

He slowly removed his light saber and ignited it.

So we're getting right down to it.

She brought her hand up to her waist to take hers out. But just as she touched it and he was tensing up for a fight, she dropped her hand.

She couldn't do it, she can't hurt him. It was here, this was the moment of truth. She had told herself over and over that she didn't truly care for him, he was a means to an end. But now that it has come down to him or her, she can't bring herself to choose herself first.

She sighed and looked up at him, trying not to cry. She was prepared to accept her fate, she could die knowing he would not meet his end by her hand.

"No! What are you doing?" He demanded erratically. This clearly wasn't what he expected, and it was throwing him into turmoil.

"It's okay, Ben." She assured him. Whatever he wanted to do with her, she would accept it. Although death would be faster.

He stood up straight and out of his fighting stance. He looked at her, and then his saber, and back to her. He lowered it to point at the ground.

Rey choked back a sob, was he really giving in and refusing to harm her?

Indeed, he shut off the bright red weapon and stowed it at his waist again. He took a single step forward, there was a bang, and he dropped.

Ben POV

At one point, he sensed her getting closer. Only her. He instructed the others to stay back, and wait for the rebels to attack before they advanced.

He readied himself and kept walking. He knew they would meet eventually, he would be in the same spot she was for the first time in months, rather than being connected through The Force.

And then there she was, standing before him with a look on her face that would look blank to anyone else. But he knew her, he could see past the false impression she would be giving anyone else. He could see hope, fear, and a little bit of acceptance.

"Do you really need that mask? This is me you're talking to." She stated. So bold, it threw him for a second. He supposed to really be on equal ground, neither of them should wear a mask.

"I suppose not." He replied and did as she asked, dropping his mask to the ground.

She looked him over a few times, and he just watched. Then, he remembered why he was there, and got in a fighting stance, saber lit.

She looked almost disappointed, her hand went for her waist. He hadn't even noticed she had another saber. She must have searched the darkest corners of the galaxy for it.

He thought she would seize it and challenge him. Instead, her fingers barely brushed it and then her hand dropped to her side.

Tears gathered in her eyes, although she was clearly trying to hold herself together. She was refusing to hold her own against him.

"No! What are you doing?" Things were no longer going how he expected, and it made him feel like he was losing control.

"It's okay, Ben." She said sadly. His name from her sent a shockwave through him, like it always had.

What was okay? Did she accept that he would capture or kill her?

She couldn't bring herself to fight him, and upon that realization, he couldn't make himself do it either.

He came out of his fighting stance and stowed his saber away. All this time he thought he could hurt her, or even kill her. He couldn't even take a single swing, she meant too much to him.

In his resolve, he took a step forward. He would go to her, accept whatever the rebellion would do, he knew she wouldn't allow him to die. But he would hand over his weapon and use his time to remain close to her and prove himself.

He heard the bang, but he didn't feel any pain. He knew what a blaster sounded like. His vision clouded, his hearing faded, he was blacking out. The last things he saw and heard were her yelling his name and leaping the last few steps to get to him.


	5. Chapter 5

Rey POV

He had been shot. When realization hit her, she darted forward to protect him. She armed herself with her blaster and saber, refusing to leave him there. He was alive, she could feel it. She just needed to wait until she could move him somewhere safe.

That's when the chaos ensued. General Hux stepped forward, and Rey realized that he was the one who took the shot. He barked orders and marched back to the safety of his ship, and it took everything in her not to follow and destroy him for shooting Ben in the back.

Rebels rushed into the heat of the battle, and she remained where she was, shielding his body with hers. Ben refused to engage in combat with her, she wouldn't leave him to be finished off.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Organa herself and a pair of men were there, flanked by fighters to give them cover. She touched Rey's shoulder and the frightened girl whipped around. She realized they were here to move him and stood up. One grabbed his arms and the other his legs, and they all ran back to the ship.

Ben was rushed to the infirmary, to a bed where he was rolled onto his stomach and his shirt cut off, exposing the wound in his back. It was dead center, Hux would pay with his life. Rey would do it herself if Ben was lost.

They went to work and Organa grabbed Rey gently by the arm. Rey didn't want to move, she watched them begin to clean away at his wound, desperately hoping he could be saved.

"Rey, we can't stay. They need to be able to work." Organa coaxed the girl into leaving.

By this time, everyone was rushing back in and reporting that with the attack of one of their leaders on another, the First Order was leaving and they were safe for now. Only one life lost and a handful wounded.

Genera Organa walked them both to a quiet room, away from anyone who could listen in. They sat at a table and the older woman sighed.

"I think you need to explain yourself." She said gently.

Rey nodded and deeply inhaled, wondering where to begin. She couldn't say everything, she didn't want to divulge that much information, it was too personal.

"Ben and I have been connected through the Force." She began. At the use of her son's name, Organa raised her eyebrows. No one called him that but her and Han.

"It's been up and down, it started when I went to find Luke. And continued on a few more times, the last time I saw him was when we made our escape from the old base. I began to block him from seeing me, I thought that I had gotten through to him but when Snoke died, he showed me I hadn't yet. One night my guard was down in my sleep and he came to me. We began regularly interacting."

That put it lightly, but again, the General didn't need to know the extent of the relationship between her son, leader of the First Order, and the girl who was the last Jedi and great hope of the rebellion.

"You got through to him." She stated.

"It appears I did. We spent time together, both of us knowing how it would end. But I had hope for him."

"That's why you were so confident that he wouldn't harm you."

"For a moment, when he raised his saber, I thought I failed. I didn't want to hurt him, I was ready to accept whatever he would do."

In a very surprising move, Organa held Rey tightly.

"Thank you for giving me my son back." She said, sobbing a little.

Together, the two of them went back to the infirmary to check on him. His wound had been stitched up, he had a steady stream of some form of medication through an IV, and he was breathing on his own. His arms and legs were also restrained.

Rey didn't like it, but it was necessary. When he woke up, he might be afraid of not knowing where he is, and he could lash out. His saber was in his mother's room, locked away in a hidden safe, no one but he knew it's location.

An hour after he was first brought in, they were permitted to see him.

He looked so serene. Rey had never seen him sleep, she had seen him vulnerable and open to her, but not like this. His shirt had been cut away, leaving only his lower half clothed. He had also been bathed from the waist up to ensure no infection would set in.

Rey stood back as a mother approached her sleeping son, whom she had not seen in what seemed to be years. What Rey felt was probably nothing compared to Organa as she looked down on the man who was once her innocent little boy. She didn't dare interrupt. Organa laid a hand to his forehead and spoke to him in whispers that Rey couldn't hear. It was private, only meant for him to hear. The woman held his hand, raised it, kissed his knuckles, and set it back down gently.

"You're probably who he'll want to see when he first wakes up." The woman said, touching Rey's shoulder in encouragement before she saw her way out.

Carefully, Rey sat down next to him. She wanted to reach out and touch him, this man who gave up everything and took a shot in the back for refusing to harm her. She would never get used to anybody doing that much for her.

After a little while of sitting and staring, she felt the ship move. They were leaving, hopefully to somewhere that offered more civilization.

For hours she sat, Finn and Poe both passed and glanced in, but neither disturbed her. They didn't look angry or confused, they actually looked sympathetic. Hopefully Organa explained to everyone on board that Ben was under her protection, and explained to the two men close to Rey a little deeper.

Every so often, a medic would check his vitals, nod, hum, and write on a chart. It became sort of irritating, but she knew she was tired, scared, and easily annoyed.

On the fifth check, she asked the doctor

how he was.

"It doesn't look good, in situations like this we tend to say that it's up to the victim to have the will to push past it. Whether or not they body has had enough is up to them." He answered.

That didn't sound good. Ben was full of anguish, he couldn't have much willpower in him to wake up.

Rey looked over her shoulder and saw she was alone. She took a deep breath and slowly moved her hand over his. It was the first time they had touched since she left him for the last time.

When the sensation subsided, she gripped his hand in both of hers.

"Ben." She choked out. She had began crying at the thought of never seeing his eyes open again so that he could look at her the way he always had when he thought she didn't notice. "Please, I need you to come back to me. I need to tell you what it meant, what you did."

He didn't budge, and it only made her fear seem that much more real.

"Please, please come back to me." She was struggling to speak now. "I need you here."

Ben POV

He was in and out of consciousness. He could feel her over him. He was too weak to use the Force. The first time he tried he passed out again.

He didn't even have the strength to open his eyes. He was awoken when he felt himself being picked up by his arms and legs. He heard her, sobbing and worried for him.

Rey.

He wanted so badly to reach out to her, but he knew he didn't have the energy. The pain was dull now. Having been shot before, he was certain he would be in immense pain when he regained full consciousness. He had never been shot directly in his back before.

Then he wondered who did it, because he would see to it that their head rolled. That was when he let go again.

When he next woke, it was to feeling a hand on his brow. The touch was familiar, something lost to him long ago. It wasn't Rey.

Mother.

After everything he did, she was here, speaking softly to him and pushing his hair from his face. He felt like a small child again, wanting to curl into his mother and seek comfort.

This time he simply fell asleep, her voice and touch soothing.

When he woke again, he was more aware than ever. The pain didn't come as he expected. He still didn't have the strength to open his eyes, but he knew where he was. He heard the steady beep of the machine keeping track of his vitals, he felt the small tube in his arm that was administering medicine to boost his recovery.

He was beginning to wonder if he ever wanted to wake up for good. Could be really face his mother and not be ashamed? Could he live among the rebellion without feeling like an outcast? And Rey, he could not assume she would remain at his side. She might still struggle trusting him when he was real and could actually hurt her.

Then he heard the familiar crying. She was there, holding his hand with two of hers.

"Please, please come back to me."

The words hit him harder than any blaster could have. She needed him as much as he needed her. For what, he didn't know yet. But he knew he didn't ever want to live without her.

He felt himself slipping away again, no matter how much he fought it. He wanted to open his eyes and speak to her, tell her he wouldn't leave her ever again. With his last bit of strength, he willed himself to squeeze her hand. Then it all went dark again.


	6. Chapter 6

Rey could have sworn she felt him squeeze, ever so lightly. She studied his face and his hand for a few minutes, then she decided it was just her mind playing tricks. She was exhausted and terrified, and wanting nothing more than for him to wake up.

She remained in the infirmary almost constantly, aside from eating, bathing, and retrieving books to occupy herself. She often talked to him, wishing he would wake up. She tried everything.

The third day after he was shot, they were making an effort to evade the First Order, but there was no sign at all that they were still being hunted. Perhaps they were recuperating after losing another Supreme Leader within months.

Rey was eating lunch, listening to Finn and Poe take little jabs at each other about how Poe named his friend when he was rescued. It put her in a better mood, she was smiling today, it was nice after days of misery.

That was when she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned to see General Organa gesturing for her to follow. Once they were out of earshot of everyone, the General began to talk.

"He woke up, he responded to a doctor talking to him. Not verbally, but he could hear and process it. They said he looked around the room once and simply fell back asleep." She explained.

Rey breathed, he could be okay. Hopefully he was trying to wake up for good and he was healing.

"I had them remove the restraints. I don't think he presents a danger, if he did, he would have shown it when he woke up."

"Thank you, I know this is difficult for you as well. He'll wake up soon." Rey insisted.

Organa nodded and smiled before wandering off to make her rounds.

Rey finished her meal, walked to her room for a new book of texts to study, and started on the path to the infirmary.

Upon arrival, she was greeted by the nurse she had grown fond of, Rita. The young woman was adamant about doing her job and not letting any personal feelings effect it. Sure, Ben was taken care of well, but it was only because of Organa's orders. No one was happy about having a former First Order leader in their charge.

"Did the General tell you what happened?" Rita asked cheerfully.

"Yes, I was glad to hear it." Rey answered.

"He's improving, every time we check the wound it's better. He's remained completely stable, almost as if he's going back and forth on whether he wants to wake up." The young girl observed.

Maybe that's what it was, he wasn't sure what he would wake up to, so he remained dormant by sheer will.

"Can he hear me?" Rey inquired.

"It's hard to say, his brain activity fluctuates. Sometimes it's like he could be more responsive or register what goes on around him, others it's like he's completely tuning everything out."

"So at any time he could be listening?" Rey dared to hope that Ben had heard some of what she had been talking about when she spoke to him.

"I wouldn't completely rule it out." Rita smiled kindly and touched Rey's arm once before leaving to tend to the other patients in her care.

Rey sat in her chair she had set up next to the bed.

"Ben, they say you might be able to hear me sometimes. You can wake up, no one here will hurt you. I'm here, so is your mother, everything's going to be fine." She hoped he could hear her.

Nothing, he didn't even twitch. Rey sighed and kept talking in a hushed tone, about everything that happened. She talked to him some before, but now that she knew he could hear her, she told him everything.

Ben POV

He swore he could hear someone taking, maybe a doctor or a nurse. He was in and out of consciousness, not even bothering to open his eyes. Now that he knew he was with the rebellion, he didn't want to wake up. He would rather stay in his comatose state than wake up and be forced to stay in a cell.

Wait, the voice sounded familiar, a good kind of familiar. It was her, she was here, and either talking to him or nearby. He hung on to hear what she had to say, fighting the urge to sleep.

"Ben."

He fought so hard to wake up, he'd willed himself to sleep so much now that his body accepted it as the normal. Not anymore, he wanted to see her.

It seemed to take hours, but he was successful. His eyes popped open. It was the same as before, white everywhere, but this time a curtain was shielding him from the remainder of the infirmary.

But the person next to him wasn't who he expected. His mother sat in a chair watching him.

"They told me you were starting to wake up." She smiled and placed her hand over his.

He looked away, ashamed and afraid of the disappointment. And after a minute or so of her not saying anything, he dared to look up.

She was smiling. She was actually smiling like she was happy to see him.

"Why are you here?" He managed to get out.

"Oh I know I'm not who you wanted to see, but Rey's asleep." She answered him.

"No, I just meant-" he tried to say.

"Son, I know what you mean." She cut him off. And she did, she knew he was wondering why she was here. He had tried to kill her many followers, he even killed his own father.

"I'm not here to drag you away to be locked up for the rest of your life. I just want to talk to you. You don't have to say anything back."

Ben chose to stay quiet, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

"I left you. I left you behind far too much, your father and I should have been there to guide you. But we weren't and then we sent you away with your uncle Luke. It's my greatest regret. I lost you, you didn't have to be this way. I made you vulnerable and easy to take advantage of."

Ben was angry at that last statement. He was not weak. He was about to talk over her, but she wouldn't allow him.

"Hear me out, and then you can lose your temper." She held a finger up. "Being vulnerable was not your fault, your father and I should have been with you to instill confidence. This whole thing is my fault. And Ben," she gripped his hand tightly, "I forgive you for your father. I understand, my heart is broken, but you have been in so much pain. I understand the need to relieve it. I'm not going to abandon you again."

He couldn't believe what she was saying. Did she hear herself? She was laying herself on a silver platter for him.

"I will help you. You were very brave for backing down from fighting Rey in front of the First Order. Please stay, we will protect you and her."

Ben's head was spinning. His mother was opening herself up to being shattered all over again. He could leave right now and tear this place apart. But he didn't want to. He wanted to stay here, even if he wasn't wanted with the exception of two people. It's not like he was well liked within the First Order either.

"Who shot me?" was the first thing he thought to say.

Knowing to expect the unexpected with her son, Organa answered him easily. "A man Rey says is General Hux."

He was beyond furious. This man dared to shoot a man in the back, one that was the Supreme Leader. As soon as they were within sight of each other, Ben would choke the life out of his pathetic body.

"Mother, I-".

Organa choked out a sob and placed a hand over her mouth. Ben realized it was her first time hearing that since she sent him away.

"I don't want to hurt you again." He started. His mother could see there was more, she was afraid.

"I'm not sure I can stay here. I don't think you can forgive me so easily."

He wanted to leave, isolate himself. He wasn't even sure he would say goodbye to Rey.

"I can because I've lost enough time with you, and I can't walk around with the weight of what you've done. I can hang on to it and lose you again, or I can do what I know is right and lift the weight."

He could sense the truth in it. She meant every word.

"My son." She gently touched his cheek. When she saw he wasn't moving away, she leaned in and held him.

He allowed this, it was very unusual. He had grown so used to pushing away any form of affection, even minuscule. He forgot what it was like to have unconditional love.

When she pulled away, he stared at the blanket on his bed.

"Mother, I'm sorry." He simply said.

"I know, dear." She kissed his temple and left him alone.

Rey POV

Her sleeping schedule was wrecked. She often had to be chased out of the infirmary so she could go sleep in her own bed. Some days everything was a blur, she didn't keep track of time and ended up being awake far too late and then woken up the next day.

Today she was beyond exhausted. After he woke up momentarily she kept holding out hope that he would wake up for good, and she wanted to be there when it happened so she could talk to him.

That's why she was so upset when Organa caught her on the way to breakfast to tell her that Ben had woken up hours ago and was probably waiting to see her.

She briefly thanked the general and rushed away. When she walked in, Ben was indeed awake and sitting up in bed. Rita was talking to him and making notes, while the doctor was examining the wound. Rey stood in the door, wide eyed and open mouthed, feeling oddly out of place. What if he didn't want her here? What if he decided he had made a mistake? After all, the moment that it looked like he was turning to the light, he was shot.

Rita walked away and Ben looked up, right at her. She didn't know what to do, so she just stood there feeling stupid. That's when Rita walked up and saved her.

"We didn't want to wake you so we called the General." She said with a slightly awkward smile.

"It's really okay. He's her son so she should be contacted first." Rey assured her.

"Well he's doing okay, his vitals are still normal, he passed his vision and hearing test so no damage there. He may need physical therapy for his back though."

"Does he know?" Rey asked, knowing Ben would probably refuse.

"Yes, and he seemed reluctant. That's why I'm talking to you now. Maybe you can get him to do it, it's what's best for him."

It was doubtful, but she would try. Rita smiled encouragingly and walked away. Rey took a deep breathe and walked over to the now awake Ben.

At first she just looked at him, she didn't know what to say. After all, they hadn't really talked at all yet. They went from an intimate relationship of sorts, to being prepared to kill each other, then not, and now this.

He looked at his lap, clearly unsure too. Then he caught sight of her hand dangling at her side, and in a move of bravery grasped it in his.

Rey was surprised, for a man who didn't know much about showing affection in this way, this was a good first step. She decided to follow her instincts. After all, she had never experienced real emotions for anyone like this either.

She stepped forward once, let go of his hand, and wrapped her arms around him. With him sitting on his bed and her standing up, she was actually taller than him but to her, it gave her a good feeling to hold him this way.

He tested his head on her chest and wrapped his arms around her waist, at that response from him, Rey ran her fingers through his hair and leaned her cheek on the top of his head.

And they remained that way as long as they needed.


	7. Chapter 7

They didn't talk much about the state of their relationship that day. It just didn't seem like the right time, Ben had just woken up after being shot. Rey was just grateful he was okay and not leaving her. Her greatest fear, other than him dying, was that he would wake up and regret backing down from fighting her.

But he didn't leave, he stayed. Still holding his hand, she asked him how he felt, he told her she looked like she hadn't slept for a decade. She didn't have the heart to tell him she wasn't sleeping because of him, she said she stayed up late to study the Jedi texts.

After a day of observation, he was okay to leave the infirmary. Except for one problem. Word spread around that he was here, and very few were in a forgiving mood. Rey talked to Finn and Poe, Organa insisted that he was not to be harmed, and that he wouldn't be hurting anybody. A few close to her were backing her up and insisting they all have faith in their leader, the rest wanted him gone.

So it was decided that he would be kept in a cell that only the general and Rey would be able to access, and know where it was. They did their best to make sure it didn't feel like prison, Ben didn't want to leave it. He knew himself and his temper, the last thing he wanted to do was lose it and end up separated from the two women he cared about.

So this was the routine, Ben would see and interact with his mother every day. They got to know each other all over again, Ben cautiously told her his struggles. He wanted her to understand he never wanted to hurt her, he had been tempted by the dark side, and he had been weak and given in. Slowly they came back together as mother and son.

Rey took time out of her day to see him too. She showed him the Jedi texts, talked about reports coming in about the First Order, but neither of them got around to talking about what was going on between them.

They weren't entirely sure where they stood, and they were both scared to initiate anything. But it still happened naturally. Leaning in closely over a book, Rey leaning on him as they sat next to each other talking and studying, Ben holding her hand as he showed her forms as if she were holding her lightsaber.

Ben's fear of the unknown finally got the best of him, but it didn't come out when he was with Rey.

"Mother, do you talk to Rey very often?" He asked over the meal he and Organa were having together in his room.

"You mean do I talk to her about you?" She answered without looking up from her food.

"No, I just-" he tried to make an excuse.

"Son, whatever you have going with her is clearly a good thing. I don't think I'd have you here otherwise. Just do me a favor and keep it up." She grinned.

"Oh, well I, it's just..." he tried to put together the words. He hadn't ever really ran into this problem before, and certainly hadn't talked to his parents about it.

"You know your father and I had our problems too, took us a while to come to terms with everything. I mean I was a princess, he was a smuggler. I think I actually called him a scoundrel to his face once. Never did I think I would find what I had with him." She blushed just a little bit. "Life doesn't go the way we expect it. Better to accept it now and save yourself a lot of trouble."

She patted his arm and held her hand out for his now empty tray to take back to the kitchen.

"I'll come by and say goodnight." She patted his shoulder and left.

Ben sighed and laid down, she was right. Never, in his wildest dreams, did he expect Rey to crash in and do what she had to him. He had it figured out, there was no room for affection and a relationship. And then they connected through the Force, she got into his head and now here he was. But he had no regrets, there was only moving forward from here.

Rey POV

As Ben sat around doing his best to understand his newfound ability to care so deeply for someone, Rey did the same. She sat on her bed, legs folded up to her chest and chin resting on her knees. She had been alone most of her life, abandoned by her parents. There was no denying it, she sensed the truth when Ben told her. From there she was on her own, never getting close to anyone and never caring for anyone. Until she ran into BB-8, she had just been simply waiting for her family to return for her.

So what did it mean to care for somebody? Hand holding, kissing, maybe marriage one day. She had been doing what came naturally. Before, they had been following their primal instincts, back when she fought any personal feelings of attachment to him. Now that she let them flow freely, she didn't know what to do with them. She wasn't sure he did either, he couldn't be any better at this than he did.

So far she had been just going with what she felt was right. Comforting him when they were reunited, taking his hand in hers and allowing him to do the same, protecting him and watching over him when he was unconscious. But she longed for more. She continuously had the urge to kiss him, but it gave her anxiety. It wasn't like they hadn't kissed before, but this time felt like it would be starting over. They were no longer just sleeping together.

She didn't have a soul to talk to about this. Not Finn, Poe, nobody. She stretched out and let herself flop backwards, huffing. After a few minutes, she decided to do the best she could. This was a learning process, for both of them. They just had to let their feelings guide them.

That afternoon she went to see him. Whatever he was reading, he looked up as soon as the door to his room opened. She smiled slightly and sat down next to him to see what he had and ran her finger along the page. He caught her hand and held it between both of his, looking down at them as he played with her fingers.

This was the first real and concrete intimate contact they'd had since he was in the infirmary, the first time they went beyond the little things here and there. It took her by surprise, this initiative from him.

Then he looked up at her like he was terrified of her. It was the same way he looked at her when he asked her to take his hand and rule the galaxy with him.

"I want to tell you I'm sorry." He managed to say. Rey tried to respond, but he kept going.

"I know I've done a lot, and said some things to you that hurt you. The way I told you what happened to your family, I shouldn't have let it out that way. I should have gone with you that day, none of this would have happened. I was just drawn to power, and I saw a chance to have it when Snoke died. But I lost you in the process. It wasn't worth it."

He let out a deep breath and looked down. Rey took her hand from him and placed it and her other hand on either side of his face, encouraging him to look at her.

"You don't need to apologize. We're here together, you're safe. The second you put your lightsaber away I forgave you. I was falling apart inside when you were recovering. They told me you might not wake up." She admitted.

"Rey, please don't let that be the reason you weren't sleeping well."

She shrugged and looked up a bit sheepishly. He leaned forward and took her in his arms, kissing her forehead. It felt natural, like the easiest thing he had ever done in his life.

"I just needed to tell you all that. I needed you to hear how sorry I am for all of this. It didn't need to happen." He said into her hair.

She relaxed in his arms and wrapped hers around him. This, this right here was the most blissful thing she'd ever felt.

When he pulled away he looked like he had something else to muster up, something far more difficult. Rey scrunched her eyebrows together and rested a hand over his heart, feeling it beat erratically over whatever was on his mind.

"I..." He took a deep breath, "I also, I need you to know how much I care about you."

Rey was thrown for a moment, she knew he wasn't one to talk about his feelings much. She didn't have to know him very well to see he didn't like being vulnerable, and she understood the feeling all too well. She didn't like it either.

"I'm terrified. I'm caught between how much I care about you and want you to be here, and keeping you at arms length because, well I've never had this before."

A tear escaped, he looked her directly in the eyes when he told her all of this. She didn't have to look into his mind to see that he was being honest with her, and with himself.

"I'm scared too." She choked out. "I've never cared so deeply about anyone. This is new to me as well."

"Rey." He spoke her name in a gentle tone and took her hand that was resting on his chest.

They both leaned in, touching foreheads and closing their eyes, enjoying the intimacy and peace of the moment. When he felt it was right, Ben leaned in and kissed her.

Unlike the first time he kissed her, it didn't drive him to get her into bed. It was like something new was waking up in his mind and heart, all he wanted to do was show her how much he cared.

When they stopped, she pulled away to look at him again before leaning in and holding him. Both of them were deeply in love already, they just didn't recognize the feeling yet.


	8. Chapter 8

Soon the time came that Rey, Ben, and General Organa decided it was time for Ben to be able to leave the room. It had been over two weeks since he arrived on board. It would do well for him to be seen by the rest of the rebellion, doing good deeds. They determined that he would train Rey. With Luke gone, Ben was all that was left. Before he had been seduced by the darkness, he had training as a Jedi that he would pass on, under his mother's supervision of course.

But there was also the matter of whether or not the relationship between Ben and Rey should be on public display.

"It would be a lot for everyone to handle. It's a very large jump from you being here and assisting us, to you and I being together." Rey sat across from him nervously twirling her fingers.

"I agree. I'm more than okay with keeping us private as long as possible. There's no need for you to be heckled along with me." Ben admitted.

"They won't heckle you." Rey took his hand in both of hers.

"Not a single person on board, aside from you and my mother, is happy that I'm here."

"Rita likes you."

"Rite likes everybody."

"So if she didn't like you then that would be worse. It'll be fine, they'll come around. Finn and Poe are open to the idea of you being here and helping us. And your mother has been making sure word is spread about you giving us all the information you can about the First Order."

Just as she said, Ben had been speaking with his mother and the other leaders on the ship, giving every bit of information he could to tip the scales in their favor.

The next morning, training began. Organa and a few other leaders walked Ben and Rey to the training center they had on board. All but Organa and her second in command left to take care of their duties.

They started out easy, Ben showed her a few formations. They were careful not to give anything away about the nature of their relationship, but they couldn't help but smile as he took her through formations and stances step by step. He helped her learn to balance herself and calculate her opponents next move in a fight.

It didn't take long before people began to crowd the enormous window to watch their former enemy train their greatest hope under the eyes of their leader.

Rey noticed that very few seemed to be angry anymore, most looked on with curiosity.

In a very surprising twist, Rey returned from a break in training with Poe, who tried to convince Finn to come along. But he just wasn't ready yet.

"Ben, Poe would like to ask you about training with you as well." Rey nervously asked. She knew the history between these two, and she used her eyes to plead with Ben, who immediately gave in for her.

"Of course." And he stuck his hand out.

Poe looked at the hand, and then at Ben for a minute before taking it.

"I'm more comfortable in a plane but I don't see any harm in learning to fight on the ground." Poe admitted.

Rey grinned and walked to a nearby corner where wooden staffs were stacked. She grabbed two and handed one to Poe. As skilled as she was herself, Ben had far more training and was an asset to them.

With Poe accepting help from Ben, more people gathered to watch and were whispering among themselves. Rey hoped this would create even more positive energy within the rebellion.

They worked for the remainder of the day, sparring with each other with Ben offering guidance and discipline.

Later that day, Ben and Rey were having dinner in his room.

"Thank you for today. I know it can't be easy for you." Rey said.

On the contrary, Ben felt at ease here. No longer under the watchful eye of Snoke, Hux, and the rest of the First Order. He was no longer afraid to disappoint a master and be punished.

"I just want you to know I'm not going to turn on you again." He said.

"Ben, I could never think that. You refused to fight me and you could have walked right out of here when you woke up in the infirmary."

"I just know I'm a little hard to trust."

Rey set her now empty tray aside and moved forward to sit next to Ben on his bed.

"Did you happen to see all the people gathered outside the training room today?" She asked.

"I didn't." He looked sideways at her.

"They we're watching us, whispering. I think they're getting used to the idea of you being here." She smiled at him.

"I think it's going to take a lot longer than you think." He smiled just a little bit.

He adjusted himself so that he could stretch out on his bed and gestured for Rey to come over to him. She obliged and laid her back against his chest, leaning her head back against him.

"It's going to be okay." She said, feeling herself drift off, completely relaxed by the rhythm of his chest moving up and down.

The next morning Rey woke with a start, the room around her wasn't hers. Then she realized where she was when she saw he arm draped over her lap and felt the warmth she was laying against.

Looking to her right, she saw a hand holding a book.

"How long have you been awake?" She asked Ben, who was clearly awake enough to be reading.

"An hour. I didn't want to disturb you." He closed his book and wrapped his other arm around Rey, leaning his chin on her shoulder.

Rey closed her eyes and enjoyed the intimacy. She had never spent a night with him.

"You couldn't have been comfortable lying still for that long." She commented.

"On the contrary," he kissed her shoulder, "I was perfectly content."

"We have to get out of bed." Rey smiled at the chills she got from his kiss.

"I know, but it's early." He nuzzled into her neck. Without hesitation, she craned her neck.

His response was to place a few light kisses there. This was the first time either of them had gone this far in well over a month. The thought simply hadn't crossed their minds between him being shot, trying to figure out their relationship, training, and trying to convince everyone else on board to be okay with him.

But they were cut short by General Organa knocking to let her son know she was bringing breakfast in.

The two of them sprang apart and Rey hurried to a nearby chair.

"Good morning, son." She smiled. Then she noticed Rey. "Oh, good morning Rey. You're getting an early start."

"Good morning, we were just figuring out a training schedule." Rey lied.

"Oh, well about that. A handful of people are willing to learn from you Ben. But it's completely up to you. I realize this is all very difficult." She handed her son a tray of food.

"We still have to make time for Rey's training." He said.

"We can make time for both." Rey offered.

Ben didn't think it was a bad idea. He was tired of being confined to his room and the training center.

"Alright. How many so far?" He asked.

"Four, not including Poe." Organa answered.

And so that day Ben and Rey trained together for the first few hours of the afternoon, and the remainder was spent with Ben training a small class of rebel soldiers how to engage in hand to hand combat and with the wooden staffs that simulated a real weapon. He was a surprisingly good teacher, considering his usual temperament. He was very much one on one with the soldiers when he taught them.

Day by day, more joined. Even Finn made peace with the former First Order leader. Ben was finally able to walk among them, though never alone. He was always accompanied by either Rey, his mother, or another leader of the rebellion. He met in the ship's command center with all of the leaders on board and helped them strategize, proving more of his willingness to bring down the First Order.

But with his newfound ability to roam freely cane another struggle. He and Rey were having to constantly remember to keep their relationship to themselves, and it wasn't the easiest thing.

"Ben, anyone could be watching." Rey reminded him as he took her by the waist while they were walking up a flight of steps.

"It's innocent." He pointed out.

"I just feel like it might be too much of a shock right now." She said.

"My mother knows."

"Your mother is very understanding."

"That doesn't mean it wasn't a shock to her." He knew his mother, she might have acted like she was calm upon finding out about the bond between him and Rey, but she was entirely thrown by it.

"She handled it better than I expect anyone else here to." Rey turned to talk to him face to face.

"How bad could it be? Most of the people here accept me enough to allow me to teach them." He stepped closer to her.

She didn't move back, even though he was very much in her personal space and anyone who walked by would see that.

"No one will think you're insane for being involved with me, if anything they'll be even more convinced that I'm here with good intentions." He reached for her hand. She didn't pull it away.

She sighed, he was right. She didn't know when he became so reasonable, but she was being paranoid.

"Alright. But you know we can't simply flip from being student and teacher to...what we are. I'm not sure I'm ready for the world to know how close we are." She wanted to say that they were lovers, but she didn't want to scare him away. This was still new to both of them, they were figuring it out as they went.

What she didn't know was Ben wanted the same thing. He asked himself at least a dozen times a day about how deep their bond was.

"And what are we?" He blurted out.

Rey stared at him open-mouthed, caught off guard and unsure what to say.

Right then a group of people walked by, headed for the training center, which is where Ben and Rey were going before they stopped to have their current discussion.

Rey pulled Ben away and into a corner.

"Maybe we shouldn't have a dozen people find out all at once." She whispered, standing only a few inches from him and looking up.

He smiled indulgently and gripped her chin between two of his fingers, leaning down to kiss her before they walked off to train.


	9. Chapter 9

So they slowly began to give off the idea that they were together. Rey could feel the whispers and stares. Poe told her he sort of expected it, he said the moment he saw Rey protect him when he was shot he knew they had grown close somehow, and her remaining at his bedside made him even more suspicious. The fact that neither he nor Finn had a bad reaction seemed to be a good thing.

Rita, who Rey had become friends with as well, was over the moon. She said she knew from the start. Sometimes she was a little too perky for Rey, and she annoyed Ben, but it was nice to have someone positive around.

No one seemed to be having a mental breakdown, but the tension was palpable.

Rey and Ben did feel better now that it was out in the open. He was free to take her hand when he wanted and kiss her cheek, she was able to laugh and be more hands on when he was working with her on her Jedi training.

But the issue of exactly what they were remained.

Ben sat up one night thinking it over, he knew he would be tired the next day.

He asked himself how deep his emotions ran. He thought back to the first time he felt a strong emotion for her. When Snoke was torturing her. He watched her scream at the top of her lungs and he felt helpless, it made him angry and scared. Now, the mere idea of her being captured and harmed was enough to stir up that feeling again. How far was he willing to go for her? How much did he care about her?

He thought following her to the rebel ship would be the farthest thing, but it seemed so small now. In her training, he was always thinking that he was preparing her for a day he hoped would never come. Every move he made, he reminded himself that he was teaching her to protect herself should the need arise. And then he would think that she would hopefully not need to because he would be there. And then he realized he would put himself in harm's way to protect her, to give her a chance to get away.

He thought about how when he woke up, he realized he had an enormous target on his head and wanted to leave. Over a month had passed and he can't believe he considered that. If he left he wouldn't be here with Rey. And the idea of NOT being with her terrified him. If she left him, he didn't know what he would do. He looked in the mirror now and didn't hate himself, he saw a man who had gained patience and understanding, who had compassion for others. At first he thought he was losing himself, but he had to remind himself that who he was is still there, and the traits Rey had brought out had always been there. They had just risen to the surface.

At the same moment, Rey was tossing and turning. Not wanting to be exhausted the next morning, but unable to shut her mind off. She couldn't stop repeating that question Ben had asked her.

"What are we?" She whispered to herself.

She wanted to know too, but she didn't think it was a good time to start asking that. Maybe when this was all over. But what if, when it was over, one or both of them wasn't there?

The idea put an ache in her chest. That she would leave Ben alone, or that he would leave her. She didn't want to keep going with him gone. She wasn't sure she knew how to anymore. He had only been here a short time and he had changed her life drastically. She had never needed somebody like this before, she had never needed anybody at all. She loved the bliss of what they had together, but she also knew that if it went away, she would be destroyed. It was a blessing and a curse.

She wondered what he was doing at this moment, she wanted to go to him and stay in his bed. But if he was asleep, she didn't want to disturb him. She could just try reaching out with their connection through the Force, they hadn't done it in so long, but that would wake him too.

She thought back to when she was trying to get him to go with her, after he killed Snoke to save her and fought off his guards at her side. It absolutely broke her heart. She hadn't realized the depth of her feelings yet. She chalked it up to the rebellion being in danger and running her emotions high, and all the hope she had for him. She knew they were the same in a lot of ways, that's why she wanted to help him.

She turned over in her bed and eventually found the lull of sleep, as did Ben in his room.

Everyone on board was awoken by a lurch, far too early. Alarms began going off, waking Ben first. He dressed hastily and made his way to where he knew his mother would be.

He found her still looking asleep as well, and she quickly informed him that they had been found by the First Order and needed to form a plan. She had no idea how they had been tracked but they were caught off guard.

"Rey." He said to himself and rushed off to her room. If ever there was a time to keep her at his side, it was now. He didn't know what was happening.

He arrived there and entered without knocking. He found her half-dressed. At first she covered herself, then she remembered that he had seen her unclothed before and he actually stepped forward and helped her.

"The First Order is here. We need to move." He quickly said.

Once she was dressed, he took her by the hand and led her through the people rushing every which way to the command center.

"As soon as we're clear, we'll make a jump and meet up with another ship. From there, myself and a handful of others, including you two," She said to Rey and Ben, "will transfer over to travel to a base to lay low for a while. Rey needs to finish her training."

Rey nodded and there was another boom. Ben held her to him by the waist to steady her. This earned a few wary glances, but much less than usual.

A voice came over the speaker, letting them know that whatever problem that was hindering them had been fixed, and they could safely make their jump. Rey and Ben were instructed to pack their things, they didn't want to waste any time making the transfer.

"Do you know where we're going?" Ben asked Rey as they made their way back to their rooms.

"No but I hope I can sleep when we get there." Rey answered with a yawn.

"We can. I'm your teacher, and I permit it." He grinned and kissed her forehead before they parted to go to their separate rooms.

They met back at the command center and walked with Organa to board a small ship that would take them to the new rebel ship so they could travel to the base. Immediately after the jump, they took off. A dozen or so people were with them. Organa left her second in command behind, took a few other leaders, and the rest were soldiers.

Upon arrival on the new ship, Ben was given a less than warm welcome but it was clearly accepted that he was here to help. By the look on his face, Rey could tell he was disappointed that this was an entirely new group of people he had to convince.

They were both asked to follow the general in charge of this ship to hear some news and for Ben to give any new strategizing tips he could. Then they were showed to a lounge of sorts. It wouldn't be long before they arrived at the base, apparently there wasn't even a need to unpack.

Organa told them she had to go back and counsel with the other leaders, so she kissed her son on the cheek and left them alone. The other soldiers were on another floor being instructed on what would happen when they reached the base.

Rey sat down on a couch that faced an enormous window looking out at the stars. Wherever they were going, she hoped there would be a somewhat normal climate. Rey missed the weather, being inside a ship all this time.

Ben sat next to her.

"May I ask what's on your mind?" He questioned.

"That was a very rude awakening." Rey said without looking away from the view.

"Indeed. If you're still tired, sleep. It'll be a few hours." He said.

She looked at him, clearly not having slept very well.

"I'm fine." She lied.

"Come here." He urged her to lay down. She placed her head in his lap and stretched out.

"You don't look very well rested yourself." She commented.

"I'm accustomed. And I guarantee I slept more than you did." He pushed her hair back.

Rey could sense the truth in that, he was dead serious.

"You nosed your way into my mind last night." She smirked.

"Only to see if you were awake. I thought about coming to see you, but we've been working hard lately and I thought you might be tired."

"You would have been more than welcome."

"Yes well I know I fell asleep before you did."

He continued to stroke her hair, and she found it incredibly soothing. It didn't take long before she slipped away, giving in to the exhaustion after only a few measly hours of sleep.

Ben kept himself completely still and watched the galaxy pass by in the enormous window. He was very much at peace, Rey asleep and oblivious to the dangers lurking ahead. He looked down at her and touched her cheek with his thumb, nothing could be more perfect than this moment.

Not long after that, his mother came in. She caught sight of Rey and changed her demeanor as to not wake the sleeping girl.

"We'll arrive in three hours' time. How are you doing?" She asked.

"Mother, I'm fine." He assured her. She worried far too much.

"Ben, you know you can talk to me if you need to." She sensed trouble within her son.

He sighed and looked down at Rey.

"I'm concerned I may not ever have her ready enough." He admitted.

"She's strong, like you. You've been doing a good job teaching her, she takes it on very well. It's no wonder you find her endearing."

"Mother." He grumbled.

"All I'm saying is she's good for you, and you've been good for her. She's learning quickly and gaining strength. I don't think you need to worry about her. I know you will, but she can handle herself."

But he didn't want her to have to. He wanted to keep her safe at all costs. But he knew that if he wouldn't be there for some reason, she could indeed look out for herself.

"Ben, it's okay to need somebody. I need you." She put a hand at his cheek.

"Sometimes I forget that you're in tune with the Force." He said.

"I don't need the Force to see that my son is struggling with the idea that he might rely on somebody else to help him get through all of this." She explained.

Ben looked over at her. He didn't have anyone else to talk to about this, and there was nobody else that he would want to.

"I'm scared. If I lose her, I don't know what I'll do. I've never had to deal with these feelings." Ben realized he was a grown man who had never felt an attachment to anyone aside from his mother. He felt like a child again.

He realized it might still be a sensitive subject, but he asked anyway.

"You and my father, did you rely on each other this much?"

Organa lowered her head in sadness.

"I'm sorry." Ben placed his hand over his mother's.

"No Ben, you know I forgive you for your father. But I'm sad that we never taught you how to have a real connection like this. I realize you're struggling because you never learned how to do it." She did cry a little at the loss of Han, and that her son ended up growing up with absent parents.

"It's really okay, Rey isn't any better at it than I am." He didn't dare tell about what her parents did. That was so much worse, at least Ben's parents love him.

"Ben, take my advice. I know things didn't always work with me and your father, we're stubborn. We didn't talk enough, when we lost you we didn't deal with it. Good or bad, it has to be talked about. Don't avoid it, get it out."

Ben considered it. He was truthfully feeling like he would burst with what he had been wanting to tel Rey.

"I'm not sure what being in love feels like." Ben finally said that little word that he feared so much. The thing that seemed to evade him all of his life.

"Love isn't definite, son. It's different for everybody. You know when it feels right." She checked a device on her wrist. "I need to go. Find me if you need anything, because I know for definite that I love you." She kissed his hand and got up to leave.

He watched Rey sleep in his lap and felt the familiar deep emotions in his chest when he stared at her this way. She was relaxed, clearly having a peaceful nap. It was nice to see considering she always seemed very stressed. He began running his fingertips through her hair and it made her smile slightly in her sleep. He thought about what his mother said, he would know it was right when he felt it. But he had never felt it, so how was he to know?

He explored the idea of being in love with her. Nothing about it felt wrong, he didn't feel anxious. He was afraid of the word because he was afraid of losing her. Admitting to himself and her that he felt love, it made it harder for him to be willing to be separated from her if something happened.

But it felt so right that it outweighed his fears. This woman sleeping in his lap, he would do anything for her. Anything to keep her alive, happy, healthy.

Upon that realization, he leaned his head off the side and was able to slip into oblivion along with her.

"Ben, wake up." Rey nudged his shoulder.

He awoke to find her standing in front of him and telling him they were supposed to go to the hangar and get on a ship to go to the base.

He stretched before they both took their bags and made their way down.

"I told you you were just as tired as I was." Rey pointed out smugly.

"At least now we're well rested." Ben said.

The ride to the new base was short, and when they stepped off the ship, Rey was pleased to find their new environment to be lush. Similar to the uninhabited planet she had last been on, only it was civilized. She could see the city in the distance, not very far from where they were.

"This is beautiful." She commented.

Ben forgot that she spent her life on Jakku, a desert planet with only sunlight. He, on the other hand, had been all over the galaxy. It actually made him happy to see her discovering what she considered to be a wonder.

They were shown to their rooms, which happened to be right next to each other, whereas their rooms on the ships had been separated by two floors.

After dropping off their belongings, Rey, Ben, Organa, and the few other leaders brought along were escorted around the base. They were shown where everyone met for briefing, where they would eat, where Ben would be permitted to train Rey, and their central command.

Finally, they all sat down to eat. It was hours after they were woken by the alarms and no one had eaten yet.

"Do you want to visit the city with me?" Rey asked Ben.

"I think that might raise a few red flags." Ben reminded her. He didn't think it was a good idea that they parade him around in public.

"Ben, you always wore your mask, no one but the First Order knows what you look like under it. And this isn't a First Order occupied city." Rey smiled.

She was right, he was no longer wearing his mask. He didn't even wear his black clothing anymore, he was going to be hard to recognize.

"Alright, but we need to train some first. We'll visit the city at night, trust me, you'll want to see it then."

Rey was excited. She had never been in a city before, and certainly not at night. She pictured all the lights and colors she would see.

They spent the afternoon training. Here, none of the soldiers were relying on Ben for instruction. He was able to solely focus on Rey.

Only she was so distracted by the idea of going with him to the city that night that she wasn't getting anything right.

Ben was careful and tried to be patient, but he was paranoid they they could not afford to lose any time in her training.

"No, like this." He said through his teeth as he showed her the formation he had been working on with her for half an hour.

"I'm sorry." Rey laughed.

"This isn't a joke." Ben raised his voice a little.

"I'm sorry, Ben. It's just a brand new environment for me, it's exciting." Rey continued to smile. And it infuriated him. Didn't she understand that he was trying to make her stronger to she could protect herself?

"Just focus, you need to FOCUS." He raised his voice more.

"Ben, what's wrong?" She tried to step closer.

"You NEED to get this right. You can't afford to get it wrong."

"You said yourself I'm making excellent progress." Rey was confused. Surely they could spare one day.

"No, no you aren't at this very moment." He ran his hands through his hair.

"I don't understand."

Ben was beyond frustrated. He walked over to a nearby wall and punched it.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Rey began to raise her voice now.

"I am trying to protect you!" Ben yelled, marching over and looming above Rey, who was caught off guard.

Ben saw the look on her face and backed down, giving her a little bit of space.

"I'm not just training you to be a Jedi, I'm training you so that you can fight and defend yourself. What if I'm not there to protect you? You NEED to be able to fight anyone off who attacks you."

Now she got it, he was trying to make sure that she could hold her own. And he was frustrated because she was joking around far too much today.

"Ben, I'm sorry. I know I need to take it seriously." Rey moved into Ben's personal space again. "You're a wonderful teacher. You don't need to worry about me."

"I just want you to be safe." He admitted with a shrug.

He had come so far, from being her sworn enemy, out for her death, to working with her for hours to ensure she could defend herself. And then it occurred to her what he had said, about him not being able to be there. He was worried that something would happen to separate them and he wouldn't be able to protect her. No one had been so concerned for her before, or he implied that they would put themselves between her and harm.

It just came out, out of her control.

"I love you." She looked up at him and took his hand. She meant it, even if it did slip off her tongue. She was completely in love with him, and him hinting at the idea that he would defend her pushed the words right out.

Ben looked like he was struggling to speak. He looked every direction and kept opening and closing his mouth. Then he walked out of the room, leaving Rey confused and hurt.


	10. Chapter 10

Ben was petrified. He thought he'd made progress after his talk with his mother, but that all flew out the window when Rey confessed she was in love with him. It threw him completely off balance.

So he ran, like an insolent child. Because that was his solution when something scared him, to run. He didn't even know why he did it, he was in love with her. That much he knew, he knew the moment he feared for her life when she was screaming in pain in Snoke's throne room.

"I'm not enough for her."

There it was, he said it out loud to himself when he slumped down on his bed. The thought hadn't occurred to him until she said something that seemed so final. Ben Solo might not act like Kylo Ren anymore, but his alter identity was still there and he would carry around his crimes for the rest of his life. Rey needed somebody who wouldn't drag her down.

For the next few days he avoided her, and after the first day she seemed to get the picture. He just didn't know what to say so he avoided her like a coward. He could see the hurt in her eyes, and it rocked him to the core. But he selfishly kept away.

After that first day, she began to keep herself busy. Sometimes he would just watch her and wondered what was going on in her mind. Was she thinking of him? Probably not. Was she giving him time? No, she was probably coming to terms and thinking he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. He knew he needed to talk to her soon, or he would risk throwing everything he had with her away.

She was angry, so angry. In a second, he changed completely. Just because he didn't feel the same way she did, it didn't mean he had to shut her out.

The first day she tried to talk to him, but he would always take off in the opposite direction. After several attempts, she let it go. If he wanted to talk to her, he would. And should he dare to think they were still going to continue on as they were before she told him she loved him, he would have lost his mind.

On that fourth day, she became infuriated and lost it. Their rooms were right next to each other, he couldn't avoid her forever. So when he left his room at the same time she did, she chased after him.

He walked as fast as he could outside, hoping to avoid her in all the vegetation. He was sadly mistaken.

"Ben Solo!" Rey screamed at the top of her lungs, stopping him in his tracks. Everyone around them stared.

What Rey didn't realize is that when she pointed at Ben, she had used the Force to stop him in his tracks. When he didn't turn around and walk to her, it occurred to her that he was staying still against his will and she let go. The moment she did, he rounded on her.

"That was over the line!" He marched up to her.

"Over the line? You mean like walking out on me the other day?" Rey fired back. This was turning into a very public argument with half of the resistance listening.

Ben looked around and noticed, then took Rey's hand.

"Come with me, we can talk where nobody can listen." He dragged her back inside and into his room, shutting the door.

"Now we can discuss this." He proclaimed.

"Let's discuss how you have been cowering away from me." Rey immediately started.

Kylo rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"And that was AFTER you walked out on me when I told you something that made me very vulnerable." Rey began to sob.

That broke him. He stepped forward and took her in his arms, running his fingers up into her hair and cradling her head against his chest.

"If you didn't feel the same way, you just had to say so. It wouldn't change how I feel about you, and it wouldn't change us." She said, quiet and at peace now. She had missed this.

"Don't take this the wrong way, I don't expect you to be able to function in a relationship properly. I don't think I know how to either."

Ben grinned. They had issues, there was no denying it. Neither of them had normal upbringings, both of them had been denied compassion and the closeness of another person. At least Ben had his parents' love, they just weren't always around. Rey had been sold off by hers.

He let her go and they sat down on the floor directly across from each other.

"I don't think you understand. Rey, I'm very much in love with you too."

Her eyes lit up, even though she tried not to show too much enthusiasm.

"But I didn't realize you felt it too. I don't want you attached to me so tightly."

She was hurt, he could see it. He hurt her so badly. With tears streaming down her face, she managed to croak a sentence out.

"Are you planning to leave?"

"No, Rey no." He took one of her hands in both of his, kissing her knuckles. "But I realize who I've been, and that I can't erase what I've done. I love you so much, but I can't bear for you to have me bring you down."

Once again, she looked heartbroken. But not for herself, for him. He didn't think he was deserving of affection from another person.

"Ben, if I didn't think I could handle the things you've done, I would be here. You've committed some terrible things in your life, but you cast that and everything you knew for years away for me. You didn't have to do that, now you're running with a band of misfit resistance fighters and in a relationship with a former scavenger who's had nobody and nothing her entire life. Don't let your past prevent us from having a future, please."

That word, she said it exactly as he had when he asked her to rule the galaxy with him. When he desperately reached out to her so he wouldn't be alone anymore.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you through all that." He hung his head.

Rey scooted closer to him and picked up his head.

"It's alright, we're never going to be perfect. So I suggest you stop expecting that of yourself." She smiled at him and pulled his head in so it rested on her shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and allowed her to comfort him even though it was he who had done the hurting these last few days.

When he picked his head up, he rested ha forehead on hers and pulled her closer by the waist.

Without speaking, she kissed him once, twice, and a third time, each time they became more heated. Ben pulled her so close that she was up against him, as his hands roamed her back.

They pulled away once more to look each other in the eyes. They hadn't been truly and deeply intimate in weeks, since the last time she severed the Force bond before he followed her into the resistance.

It was almost like he was asking for permission, and he didn't need words to do it. Rey only had to nod, and he gently lowered her down so she was pinned beneath him.

Things were much better between them after the heartfelt confession from Ben, and the long talk they had after they made up for a few days of not interacting. It was understood between them that they were both still figuring it out as they went along, but they knew for certain that they loved each other.

That night they ended up going into the city like they talked about. Ben enjoyed seeing the childlike wonder when Rey saw all the lights. To him, it was normal, to her it was beautiful and exotic. She pulled him all over, to bars that played loud music and served alcohol, something else she had never tried. Then she found an outdoor band playing soft music and he surprised her when she found out he knew how to dance and he showed her.

They ended up exhausted at the end of the night and stayed in Rey's room. He warned her that they would be up early the next morning, no matter how late she had stayed out with him.

And, as promised, they were up early the next morning. After breakfast, the two of them headed off into the woods around the base. Rey was in tune with the world around her, but Ben liked to make sure she didn't forget and had every chance to improve. So off they went to find a peaceful spot, away from the business of the base.

They found a small cleaning between the trees, far enough away that they didn't have to hear everybody at work, but close enough to run back if they needed to in the case that the First Order found them.

They say cross legged across from each other, breathing deeply. Rey enjoyed doing this with him, sharing this bond of being in tune with everything. She opened her eyes for a moment and looked across at him. His face was clear of fear and paranoia, he was expressionless but it was nice to see. She smiled and closed her eyes, feeling even more at peace.

For fifteen minutes they sat, breathing in the fresh air and listening in. Until a loud boom startled Rey enough to make her instinctually move closer to Ben. She gripped his arm and looked around for he source, prepared to drag him up and pull him away.

"It's just thunder." He said without opening his eyes.

Of course. Rey spent some time on Ahch-To where it stormed, but sometimes she forgot. And it had never been that loud.

"Ben, that doesn't sound like a small bit of thunder. I think we need to go back." Rey was nervous. She didn't know the weather patterns here.

"If you want to, we can, but there's no need to rush." He stood up.

They began to leisurely walk back. But within a few minutes, the sky had grown incredibly dark. It looked like dusk. But it wasn't even midday. Thunder continued to roll, and lightning joined in.

Rey was growing more and more nervous, clinging to Ben's arm.

"It'll be okay, we'll go inside and ride it out. It's nothing I haven't seen before." He assured his worried lover.

As if his words were heard by the skies, it grew even darker, the wind picked up fiercely, and large droplets of rain began to fall. It was becoming a very harsh storm very fast. Ben took Rey under his arm and started a brisk pace, pulling her with him.

"Ben." Rey cried out as a gust of wind nearly blew her away. She had been right to be nervous, this was a larger than normal storm. They needed to get inside quickly.

They hadn't even made it halfway back when the ferocity picked up. Ben kept a tight grip on Rey so as not to lose her, she was much smaller than he was and at risk of being blown over.

They maneuvered through the weather as best as they could, but it was becoming difficult to see. Ben heard the familiar and very loud cracking sound of a tree coming down, right where they had just been. Rey screamed in terror, it sounded like a gun shot. Ben quickly moved her away from it and leaned down to whisper in here ear.

"Do not let go of my hand." He said urgently, and she responded with an eager nod. They were freezing and getting nowhere fast with him tucking her under his arm. So he pulled her and ran, as quickly as he could, back to the base.

When he finally caught sight of it he was beyond relieved. This storm was becoming a full on typhoon.

The door was opened before he could reach the knob and his mother pulled him and Rey inside as quickly as she could.

"There you both are! I was worried sick, don't go that far away from the base again!" She exclaimed as she guided them both toward the bathrooms where there would be towels and warm showers.

"Mother, we're fine." Ben grumbled. He hadn't dealt with her overbearing mothering since he was a teenager, and he was still getting used to it happening again.

"This isn't the time or place to wander too far from here. The First Order could surprise us at any time." Organa said before leaving them alone.

"She's right." Rey said as she dried herself.

"We were fine until the storm hit." Ben pointed out.

"Speaking if that, let's get out of these wet clothes before the power is knocked out." Rey began to strip.

Ben raised his eyebrows before remembering that they had seen each other without clothes on more recently. He took his shirt off as she finished undressing before getting into a shower and inviting him to join her. He grinned at her playfulness and finished undressing.


	11. Chapter 11

They rode out the storm in Rey's room, studying the Jedi texts together. It was so bad they would hear the howling from the wind and the rain beating against the side of their base. If they looked out the small window, they could see it happen. It was nearly as dark as it was at night, and every so often a lightning flash would illuminate everything around them, followed by a boom of thunder that shook them to the core.

Rey was a little disturbed by the storm, having lived on Jakku her entire life, she wasn't accustomed to such things. She and Ben sat on the floor, him leaned against the bed, and her leaned against him, back to chest. Every time the thunder sounded, she would jump a little.

"It's perfectly normal, in fact it could be worse." Ben said over her shoulder.

"Yes, well to me it sounds like chaos. My shelter on Jakku would hardly hold up to this." Rey reminded him.

He kissed her shoulder as she tried to decipher the ancient language on the pages.

And that was when the power gave out and the emergency lights came on, dimly lighting everything.

"Of course." Rey said, standing up. "I can't stay in this room all night, I need to move around. This storm is driving me insane."

She held her hand out to help Ben up.

"And where are you going to go?" He asked. She shrugged in response.

"Let's go train."

Ben agreed and followed her out of the room and down the hallways into the training center. Others around them were also roaming around, restless and needing something to do.

They reached the training center and Ben instructed her to take out her lightsaber. They had worked on it together and gotten it working properly, now when Rey trained by herself, under Ben's careful instruction, she used it to get a better feel. A wooden staff didn't feel quite the same, so they only used those when they practiced fighting against each other.

They trained well into the night, to the point of exhaustion. Rey was ready for bed after hours, and Ben agreed. They both showered again to rid themselves of the odor of sweat, and then retired to Ben's room for the night.

And once again they were woken up far too early.

The power was back on, the storm had ended, but sirens were going off. Rey and Ben woke up and dressed quickly and hastily, then set off to find Organa.

"Ben!" She examined as she ran up to them, finding them first. "We have to get out, the First Order is here but we're not prepared for an attack. The storm did us no favors, take Rey to the front of the base, we have an escape plan."

She ran off to retrieve and wake more people after hugging her son and Rey.

Ben pulled Rey by the hand to the front of the base, a difficult feat for her considering the difference in their size and the fact that she had a bag hastily packed with the Jedi texts, her lightsaber, and a few other important things.

They finally made it to the front and were escorted out. They were told that the city was sending out decoys to distract the First Order and allow the rebellion a chance to escape, hopefully unnoticed. Rey was sad and grateful at the same time, the people here would pay dearly to save her life and everyone else's so they could have a chance to win the war.

As soon as everyone was inside, they were whisked away and off the planet before the First Order could take notice.

Ben, exhausted from getting barely any sleep, fell asleep along a couch almost immediately after takeoff. Rey was too full of adrenaline to do such a thing, and ended up sitting at a table and fiddling with her blaster. That was until General Organa took a seat across from her.

"We will make sure the people of that city know how grateful we are to them for this." Organa assured her.

"Thank you, General." Rey said.

The general smiled. "I think at this point you can call me Leia."

Rey was a bit thrown, but she guessed they had both been through a lot. Between Han, Luke, and now Ben.

"I feel like I never expressed to you how grateful I am that you gave me my son back. Not just that he's physically here, but who he is, right now, it's who he's always been. When he was growing up he was such a loving and gentle young boy. He always had his temper, I thought that came from his grandfather. But I should have been there for him more. He was always begging to come with me, but I didn't think he could handle it. All of the traveling and duties was weary, I thought he was better off away from it, and then I thought he was better off with Luke."

"He loves you, he always has. Even when he was Kylo Ren, I could see it in his mind. I think he was just lost and needed to know you still cared for him." Rey said, staring at Ben's sleeping form.

"He needed a little more than that." Leia eyed the girl. "Caring for someone else like he cares for you seems to have pulled him back into the light."

Rey blushed, she still couldn't believe that she was able to turn him.

"I think he's always wanted for someone to care for, and to care for him in return. He didn't realize it but it was always there. He's the one who made the choice."

"I'm happy he has you. I can see it in his eyes that he loves you very much. Has he told you? I'm sorry if I'm prying but I see so much of myself in him. His father," Leia smiled at memories, "well his father was very full of himself where I was very stubborn with my feelings. Sometimes I worry that it effects my son."

Rey smiled, she may not have known Han Solo long but she could see how cocky he was.

"He has actually made it known, and I love him as well. Ben was rather stubborn when we first began to see each other as more than enemies. The man killed Snoke and still wanted to rule the galaxy for himself, I thought he was as hard-headed as they come."

"General, we need to have a word." A commander approached them.

"Rey, why don't you come with me?" Leia offered. Rey nodded and followed her, assuming Ben would find her if he woke.

They arrived to a room filled with leaders of the rebellion.

"Here's what we've got. General Hux is now the Supreme Leader of the First Order." A middle aged man spoke up.

Rey scoffed, and they all looked to her.

"Hux is a hothead, he's out for self gain and that could be his downfall. He's got an ego the size of the entire galaxy." Rey informed them.

"You're right. In our experience with him, he doesn't make the best decisions. He doesn't think for the entire Order, he thinks for himself. He is currently on the Finalizer meeting with other generals, according to an inside source. This is a chance to cut off all the heads and then strike while they're weak." The man continued, looking around for approval.

"Do we even have the manpower for this?" Leia questioned.

"You left that task to me." A woman stood up. "I offered to bring in more recruits while you oversaw the girl's training. I am happy to report that we have increased massively and they have all been in training long enough to go through with this. We can end this war. We can take down the leaders of the First Order and the negotiate a surrender."

Rey felt a hand at her waist and then felt Ben next to her.

"I can offer any information you need about the generals and the finalizer. Anything you need, I'm more than knowledgeable." He offered himself up.

"I like that." A third person piped up and pointed to Ben. "Who knows more about the First Order than the former apprentice and successor of Snoke?"

Ben grimaced a little at the memories but everyone in the room smiled and nodded to each other.

"Good, then Ben, you will help plan the assault." Leia touched her son's arm.

And so they started planning away, they had a full day before they landed at the new base that would be command central for what would hopefully be the battle to end the war. Ben talked them through weak points on the finalizer, new updates made to strengthen and where any new cannons were. He went through each individual leader and informed them that none would be willing to surrender and would fight to the last man standing. Sadly, this meant that none of them would probably be allowed to live. Leia didn't like taking lives, she considered it below them, but not at the potential cost of millions more.

They spent hours talking it over, even when it was time for meals they ate while making battle plans. Ben was determined to end this, to finally live in peace.


	12. Chapter 12

They needed sleep before they got to the base so everyone was sent to bed. Ben and Rey were shown to a room where they immediately collapsed into the bed together.

"Are you ready for this?" Rey asked Ben, resting her head on his chest and spreading half her body over his.

"Yes." Ben didn't need to think about it.

"Ben, please don't let your temper get in the way." Rey propped herself up on an elbow. "Don't make any hasty decisions. When this is over, I'd like to know what it's like to have a peaceful relationship."

"I just want this to all be over. I hear what you're saying, I won't do anything to put myself in serious danger. As long as you do the same." Ben kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Rey would never get tired of hearing him say that. "I just want to live through this and have some peace."

When they arrived, Ben and Rey saw just how the numbers had grown. Here, they managed to remain undetected. There were at least a thousand new recruits, and plenty of ships to assault the finalizer.

"Rey!" A familiar voice sounded.

Poe and Finn were running toward her, and embraced her. Then both of them surprisingly shook Ben's hand.

"Are we all ready to do this?" Poe eagerly asked. He loved the adrenaline of a good fight, he was easily one of the best pilots here.

"How long have you been here?" Rey asked him.

"Not long after you were moved, I was transferred here to train new recruits in flying and fighting from the air. They take to it well, we really can do this." Poe said proudly.

"You really are a hell of a pilot." Ben said. Both men seemed to pause everything at the idea of Kylo Ren complimenting them.

Rey eyed them and they continued on like nothing happened.

"Word is that you've been giving us everything you can about the leaders and the inner workings of the First Order and their finalizer." Finn said to Ben.

"That's correct. Their current Supreme Leader is a man with severe tunnel vision and a need for self gain. If I get to him, I will kill him." Ben said calmly.

Both Finn and Poe looked a little frightened but also seemed to be admiring Ben. They knew Hux was responsible for his near death by shooting him in the back.

They couldn't continue conversing after Leia asked that Rey and Ben follow her to continue building a strategy.

Here, most of the members of the rebellion's leadership were present. The remainder were off in another part of the galaxy, training even more new recruits.

The plan was to launch an assault on the ship. Their inside source told them that the generals of the First Order were having a monthly meeting, they would all be gathered in one room. First, Ben and Rey would lead an attack from the inside, taking down the leaders while other soldiers would plant bombs that would be remotely set off. Once everyone was clear, they would be detonated and the rebellion pilots would move in to finish it off.

Ben was nervous at going back inside the finalizer, but not as nervous as he was for Rey. She hadn't quite finished her training, but she was strong. Stronger than he could dream of being at this phase of his own training.

They had one more night to rest up and prepare for what would be coming. After dinner and one final talk with the leaders, Rey and Ben sat up in their bed together, cross legged directly in front of each other with their hands intertwined.

"Promise me you'll come back to me." Ben said. "If we get separated, you'll reach out to me through the Force. Find me after it's all over, no matter the outcome."

"We will win." Rey said. Ben was staring at their hands, afraid for them both. "If we get separated, we meet right here when it's over."

"If it goes wrong, we won't be able to."

"It won't go wrong."

"If it does, find me on Jakku."

Rey looked at him as if he'd lost his mind.

"I'm serious. Where you first met BB-8. I'll be there. Find me and we can hide."

"I can't leave them. If anyone survives, we have to continue on."

"If we lose this, there won't be anything to continue."

"One day, we can. We're not the last of the Force users, more will appear."

"That will take decades."

"Then that's how long we'll wait. We can't abandon the galaxy to the mercy of the First Order. We'll start a new Jedi Order, we'll train new students. Even if we die before we can see it happen, I want to ensure the future survival of the rebellion."

Ben loved her for her enthusiasm, because he certainly didn't have it. He knew if they lost tomorrow, he would abandon all hope. If he lost Rey, he didn't know what he would do with himself. It would take the most strenuous effort not to give in completely to the dark side again.

He touched her face and she smiled, leaning in to his touch and placing her own hand over his.

"I love you, I will love you no matter what happens tomorrow. Even if I'm not here to tell you anymore." She kissed the inside of his hand.

"You'll be here. If anyone comes out of this alive, it'll be you." Ben assured her.

"Only because of you. Ben, we're unstoppable together. We fought off the entire praetorian guard together. We can do this. Just don't leave me."

"They'll have to kill me first." Ben assured her.

With that, they both laid down to sleep. They would need plenty of it for what was coming their way.

Morning dawned far too early. As scheduled, according to their inside source, the finalizer would be passing by the planet within hours. It was still dark out, the sun hadn't risen, but everyone was awake and bustling. After breakfast, pilots began preparing their ships to leave the moment they were given the signal to attack. Soldiers were briefed on what to do, who would plant the bombs, exactly where so they wouldn't be discovered, who would keep the stormtroopers occupied, and how to split up evenly if Rey and Ben had to separate.

"I wish you could stay here and out of danger." Ben said to Rey as he held her hand, minutes before they would approach the finalizer.

But he knew she wouldn't, no matter what. And besides, he couldn't deny that they made the greatest duo. The last time they fought together, he had her back and she had his. He enjoyed fighting at her side, and this is what they had put in all of their hard work for. This right here, this was what it was all leading up to.

Rey had entered his mind without him knowing it.

"You've taught me well. We can do this, just don't leave me." Rey slipped into her lover's arms, and he gladly accepted. Sometimes he loved when she read his mind, he knew how to keep some thoughts private, but there were things he was happy to share with her.

"Never." Ben whispered into her ear.


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks to new developments in their shield technology, they were able to discreetly make their way onto the finalizer along with a large group of soldiers. The idea was to remain undetected as long as possible.

They made their ascend into the enormous ship, occasionally running into a stormtrooper or two, and trying their best to stash away the bodies. But it wouldn't be long before they were noticed.

The bombs were strategically placed according to Ben's instructions, in locations that would provide the greatest advantage to the rebellion.

But the alarms sounded sooner than expected. The First Order knew they were here.

"Ben, if this is going to work we need to split up." Rey said, clearly upset at the idea but it was the best thing to do.

Ben sighed but nodded, they kissed once and the group split into two even parts.

Ben watched Rey disappear down a hall, lightsaber lit and ready, two blasters on her hips. He knew he could simply reach out when he needed to and check on her, but it still made him nervous to have her out of his sight.

He easily fought off anything that came their way, protecting his groups ability to plant the bombs. Although the deeper they got into the ship, the more stormtroopers showed. Getting out would be a fight.

"Traitor!" A familiar voice bellowed.

Ben could almost roll his eyes. That voice had caused him so much irritation over the years.

Hux aimed a blaster at him but Ben easily avoided the shots, this was the moment the pathetic little man would die.

But apparently not at his hand. Hux was so focused on getting closer to Ben that he didn't notice Rey come up next to him.

"Coward!" She told him as she grabbed his neck and ran him through with her saber. Rey had never killed anyone out of anything but self defense before, but she was angry. Hux had no soul, no qualms about shooting Ben in the back for refusing to kill Rey. Hux was personally responsible for as many, if not more, lives lost as Ben. The difference was he hadn't regretted it for a second.

Ben was a little nervous, he had never seen what darkness Rey apparently had in her. But that was a discussion for another time.

They continued to fight off stormtroopers, watching each other's backs as well as defending their men, until they received word that all bombs were planted and they needed to get out so they could be detonated before they were all discovered.

So Rey and Ben began to fight their way out. Their numbers seemed to have dwindled some, but not nearly enough to really hurt their mission here.

Getting out certainly wasn't going as easily as coming in, they were crowded with stormtroopers.

"Distract them!" He said to Rey and the others, who all nodded.

Ben carefully focused and knocked each and every stormtrooper within his sight out, the same way he had done with Rey when he first met her.

"Now we need to leave before more come." He took Rey's hand and led them all away.

A few more showed up, one of them from around a corner, who shot Rey in the arm, leaving a simple flesh wound. But it was enough for Ben to launch the stormtrooper as hard as he could into the nearest wall in anger, and continue to clear the way for them the rest of the way out.

The moment they were in the safety of the shielded rebellion ship, Ben grabbed a first aid kit.

"Give me your arm." He requested of Rey.

Still breathing heavily from the adrenaline of the fight, she did as he said. He examined the wound, dabbing alcohol on it, much to the protests of the person attached to the injured arm.

"Since when do you care about attending to a wound? You never do it for yourself." Rey pointed out. It was true, she always had to force him to clean up his wounds, reminding him that he didn't want or need an infection.

Ben didn't say anything, he simply wrapped her arm with a clean bandage and ran his finger over it.

"I'm glad you're safe too." Rey said, easily reading the look on his face without needing to see into his mind.

"You killed Hux." He said to her.

"I'm still very angry with him. You nearly died, you needed lasting medical treatment. And it was inexcusable, he shot you in the back and without warning. And for what? For backing down from fighting me, refusing to serve the First Order and slaughter more innocent people? The world is better off without him, he would have continued on with his disregard for people." She ranted.

"I've just never seen you so angry. Rey, I don't want you to be tempted by the dark side. It's a slippery slope." Ben sat down with her as they made their approach on the planet.

"Your uncle told me something, there has to be a balance between dark and light. But I think that's misunderstood, it doesn't mean there has to someone of equal light," she gestured to herself, "to balance out someone of darkness." She pointed to Ben. "I think there's a little of both in all of us, and that's okay. There needs to be a balance for harmony."

Ben had never thought of it that way, all he had ever been taught is that there are two sides, dark and light. But they didn't have time to talk more as they were clear of the finalizer and the bombs detonated.

The sight was spectacular, as they went off, several fighter ships whisked past, on their way to finish everything off.

The moment they landed, Rey ran for an empty ship.

"Where are you going?!" Ben demanded and grabbed her uninsured arm.

"I'm not staying behind, I'm helping to finish this." Rey said, tugging at him.

"You've done your part. You've been shot, you need to stay here." He continued to keep her from taking the ship.

"It's only a flesh wound, I can-" she tried to say, but she was cut off.

"No, he's right." A general stepped forward. "You're staying here. You and the remaining soldiers are the last line of defense, should the First Order make it down here to try to infiltrate the base."

She marched back inside, where Leia and the other leaders were coordinating the entire thing. Rey and Ben took up the post of guard, while the other soldiers crouched in various places, set to ambush any unfortunate First Order members to try to force their way in.

"I need a drink when this is over." Ben mumbled.

"I've never had one." Rey commented back.

"And yet another one of the galaxy's wonders I will introduce to you." Ben smirked.

They watched the finalizer be blown away, set to crash land on another nearby planet. But of course it wasn't over, because the First Order persevered.

Other, smaller ships answered a distress call and began fighting with the pilots the rebellion sent out. Some attempted to attack the base, and were answered with cannon fire that surprised Rey just as much. She didn't realize any cannons were built here.

They came on foot too, those that managed to avoid the fight in the air and the cannons landed and stormtroopers poured out. Rey and Ben avoided the shots fired at them, but when the troopers came close enough, the rebellion soldiers came out and attacked, easily overpowering them between themselves and the two Jedis. It wasn't much of a fight before the men on the ground were overpowered and forced to surrender, turning themselves over to be locked up and await the end of the battle.

And the end came, finally, after hours of fighting and too many lost. But they paid the ultimate price to ensure the wellbeing of the galaxy. The First Order surrendered. In exchange for their lives, they ordered every one of their ships to cease fighting and give themselves over. Every one of the surviving members was to be incarcerated and put on trial for their crimes. Some were deemed too dangerous and put to death.

But finally, it was over. Remnants of the First Order probably remained scattered, but too weak to fight back. And Rey and Ben were determined to help Leia build such a strong and united government in the galaxy that if the First Order tried to rebuild, it would be like a pesky fly buzzing about until you swat it.


	14. Chapter 14

The trials would be going on for months, maybe years. A new system was in place, the galaxy was united and each planet had their own ambassador to represent them in what was deemed the Confederation, simple as that. They held elections to decide how to handle issues throughout the galaxy and how to handle each First Order member. They aided each other when needed, as some planets weren't as wealthy as others. This filled Rey with pride, as she remembered desperately gathering scrap to exchange for food and hoping she would have enough to eat every night.

One issue also had to be discussed. Ben and Rey were users of the Force, and they wouldn't be the last. Ben proposed to rebuild Luke Skywalkers academy, where he and Rey, under Leia's supervision, would train generations of Jedis. It was decided that families who's member's showed abilities could elect to send them to the academy alone, or come with them in the employment of Rey and Ben.

"The Jedi should not be made to die out, we are here to keep the balance in the Force, a gray balance." Ben spoke before the Confederation with Rey at his side.

"It is not simply black and white, as we all believed for as far back as we can remember." Rey added in her part. "Inside everyone in tune with the Force is both dark and light, and to balance it out, we must accept it and only then can a student find harmony within themselves."

This caused quite the stir. It had always been believed that even the slightest sliver of darkness was frowned upon.

"They will be instructing under my careful supervision." Leia began to speak, and all was quiet. "Students who show far too much potential for darkness will be carefully dealt with. I believed my son and Rey will be able to raise a new Jedi Order, one that will thrive and protect us, as is their sworn duty."

In the end, it was ruled that they would be permitted to teach students from all over the galaxy.

"I'm very proud of you my son, and of you too Rey." Leia held one of their hands in each of hers. "You've come a long way. You should be very proud, not everyone gets to have what the both of you do."

Rey wasn't sure what she meant, whether it was about her and Ben's relationship or the way they had both found themselves in the chaos of the war. But she loved it either way.

"I have some matters to attend to, I will meet up with you later for dinner." She hugged them both and went back in to speak with the Confederation. Rey and Ben were finished with their duties for now.

"There's only one more matter." Ben said as Rey held onto his arm with hers as they descended the steps to go to their room in the grand palace the Confederation used as their designated meeting location.

"With this new Jedi Order, we make the rules. Which means old traditions can go out the window." Ben explained.

"Like what?" Rey knew of some, but couldn't possibly know about them all.

"Attachment seems to be the most bizarre issue to me. You see, the Jedi were forbidden to have an attachment to another person. It was considered a path to the dark side. But my attachment to you seems to have had the opposite effect." Ben smiled.

"You mean Jedi weren't allowed to engage in relationships such as this?" Rey inquired.

"No." He answered. "That is one tradition we are most certainly ridding ourselves of."

He turned to Rey, holding a ring that shone more beautifully than anything she had ever seen in her life.

"Rey, in our time together you've shown me who I really am supposed to be. I can't tell you how much I love you for that, you got past Kylo Ren and saw a glimpse of Ben, and that was enough for you to drag me out of the shadows. You never gave up on me." He dropped to a knee, with Rey still in shock. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted a future with this man, to see where life would take them, but she never imagined he was just as ready. She was prepared to give him all the time he needed, even if he never wanted to commit to her this much, she would spend her life with him.

"Will you be my wife?" He choked out.

Rey dropped to her knees so she could be face to face with him. Unable to form words, she simply kissed him and wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing into him.

"Please don't cry." Ben was tearing up himself, unsure why she seemed so upset.

"No, you don't understand. I didn't know you would ever be ready to bond yourself to me this way." Rey pulled away and smiled at him, relieving his worry.

"I didn't think so either. But a few weeks ago, when we were talking about what to do if the outcome of the war didn't go the way we wanted, I realized I don't ever want to be separated from you. I want to build a new life with you, a happy one." He proclaimed.

Rey smiled brightly and covered her mouth as she sobbed in happiness. Ben slid the ring on her finger and stared, such an important finger and HIS ring was on it.

That night he told his mother over dinner, he and Rey would be bonded and be their own small little family. The way he said it was so important to her, because what family she did have had abandoned her years ago.

What she didn't expect was for Leia to offer to perform the ceremony. As a general and the former leader of the rebellion, and as royalty, she had the power to marry them.

And so that night, on their balcony overlooking the beautiful city, they made their vows in an intimate ceremony, with Ben's mother serving as the witness as well.

It was a week later that they headed off toward the academy that Ben once destroyed. Upon seeing the devastation he left in his wake, Ben seemed more than a little thrown. He walked around slowly, staring and touching what were now relics after a decade of sitting.

"We will preserve as much as possible." He announced to Rey and his mother.

"Ben..." Leia began.

"It will serve as a reminder of the consequences of the dark side, of giving in. And in memory of Luke. He built this, he will be remembered." Ben said.

Both women nodded, and when he'll arrived, they were informed as well.

And so the rebuilding process began. What remained were several statues, arches, a wall or two. All would stand in memory of Luke and the other students who attended here.

It no longer pained Ben to see it, he took it in stride. He now had confidence in himself that he would never turn to the dark side again, and everywhere he went, he felt the presence of his uncle and his fellow students that once walked these grounds.

It didn't take long before families arrived with students for Rey and Ben to take on. They arrived in various ages, as teenagers or young adults that assured their parents they would help with rebuilding and would be fine on their own here, but would appreciate visits. The youngest was only five, accompanied by her parents who had used their last bit of money to bring their daughter here to be trained. Rey and Ben welcomed them with open arms, and soon began to teach as the workers and parents staying with their children were able to take over rebuilding the academy.

Rey found so much joy in helping these families and teaching children. For now, everyone progressed at the same time, as they were all beginners. One day they would be able to work with them individually.

Some of the older students took to it remarkably well, Ben worked with them when regular lessons were over for the day. These were the hopefuls that would assist in teaching the younger students, to raise the new generation.

"Ben, I have never been so proud of you." Rey told her husband late one night. Most of the school had been rebuilt, including places for everyone to stay. Which meant Rey and Ben now had their own quarters. It resembled a small apartment, two bedrooms, a small living area that also served as a dining area, and a kitchen. They usually elected to eat with everyone else there, but sometimes they made the choice to eat in the privacy of their home.

"Have you ever felt like your life was leading up to something?" Ben said from behind her. They were sitting in what became their favorite position, Rey sat comfortably between his legs, leaned back against his broad chest.

"Yes, I've always felt that way. For years I thought I was waiting for my family to return." Rey admitted.

"I feel like everything I've been through, all the hell I caused, was because I had to become this, and be where we are now." He soothingly ran his hands up and down Rey's arms, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, enjoying the intimacy.

"Well I did say I was waiting for my family. You are my family now." She tilted her head back to kiss him.


	15. Chapter 15

The academy grew, progressively more students arrived. The older ones progressed enough to finish and begin to teach the younger ones. Soon they had age groups sorted out, and jobs for the families as long as they wished to stay with their children.

Leia observed constantly, admiring her son and daughter-in-law's hard work in building all of this. Some days she cried a bit in pride, her son, who she never thought she would see alive again, had turned back, and was embracing who he was and nurturing young minds.

Often, she visited with the other children. Having families here meant siblings that weren't in tune with the Force, but were still eager to hear about it. Leia told stories about her brother, and the redemption of her son, and his love story with the greatest hope of the rebellion. The children were always in awe, and always begged to hear the stories again and again. She indulged them, it made her swell with pride.

Rey caught herself admiring the littlest ones, she had never seen many children in her lifetime. But she was so intrigued, they were positively adorable. And they loved her.

Today they begged for her to walk with them through the courts and show them the school, so off they went. The youngest was less than three and requested to be held so he could keep up with his friends. Rey marched the troupe of three and four year olds and showed them the academy, explaining relics and telling stories.

"Miss Rey, can you tell us about you and Master Ben?" A ginger-haired four year old named Onyx asked.

Rey laughed. "I know Miss Leia has already told you."

The children all fussed about wanting to hear it again.

"Alright, alright." Rey silenced them. And she began to tell them their story, leaving out the more inappropriate parts.

"And then when we realized we didn't want to do it, he laid down his light saber." She didn't say that he took a shot in the back.

They all cooed over it. Rey realized at this point they were passing a meditation class of Ben's. He caught sight of her cradling a small child to her chest and smiled sheepishly. She blushed just a little when the children ran over and told him Miss Rey was telling them his love story with her. Ben encouraged them to ask her about the first time she kissed him, and then winked at his wife as he sent them off begging to hear the story.

He watched in admiration as she gently rocked the youngest child there to sleep, she didn't see herself as mothering type but he could see it already. These children followed her like ducklings after a mother duck.

And then they all marched away to another courtyard so as not to disturb the older students.

In the six months after the first student arrived, the academy had been rebuilt completely. Everyone had a living space, students that were here without their families shared rooms in pairs, families that stayed and worked in the school were given larger quarters with multiple rooms and living spaces. Leia came and went between her political duties and visiting her family and the academy. She enjoyed coming, and told her son and his wife it felt like a much needed stay away from politics. She even considered retiring but that would mean her son would need to take over her position, and he had enough on his hands. When the school had more teachers, he could do it.

With the gain of more teachers and some of the early students finished training, they could now split their duties. Ages were now in four categories, Rey worked with the youngest, Ben the oldest, and two former students with the ones in between.

And there was one moment that would not leave Ben's mind. The image of Rey, holding a toddler to her chest, soothing him to sleep. Did she want that one day? Did he?

The thought terrified and excited him at the same time. To have a family of his own, to give Rey the family she never had. But how would he explain his past to his children? Would they understand? He couldn't possibly hide it from them. And then what if one of them discovered their lineage and became yet another Kylo Ren?

The subject had to be approached delicately. Two people were involved, not just him, so he had to weigh in Rey's point of view.

One night he decided to casually approach the subject.

"You're wonderful with the smallest children." He came up behind his wife and laid his hands on her waist, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you." She accepted the compliment. "I adore them."

"They adore you more it seems." Ben pointed out.

"If you tell children good enough stories, they take right to you." She replied.

"But you seem to take so naturally to them."

At that, she dropped her arms and turned around to face him.

"Ben Solo, are you trying to pry into my opinion on having children?" She placed her hands on her hips.

Ben was taken aback, how did she know so quickly? He hadn't felt her reach into his mind.

"I just wanted to know how you would ever feel about it." He chose his words carefully. "We don't have to start a family right now, but I want to know if you would want to in the future."

Rey considered it. She had never had parents of her own, she didn't know much about being a mother. But she also knew she would never leave her child and give them that sense of abandonment she always felt.

"How are you feeling about this?" She asked her husband. She knew this couldn't be an an easy subject for him either.

Ben shrugged. "I think we'd be better at it than you think. I learned from the mistakes of my parents and from my own mistakes, I may not know how to get it all right, but I know what not to do."

"So how would we do it? I have no doubt in my mind that our children would know we love them, but I don't know the first thing about parenting." Rey admitted.

"I think as long as they're alive you're doing your job." Ben grinned.

They talked about it and decided that when the time came, they would know. They would feel it.

And that stuck, until a couple of months later when Rey realized that her abdomen had expanded slightly, and she wasn't feeling quite right. She thought it was unusual, maybe she was dealing with a stomach ailment that was causing her to bloat.

The thought didn't even occur to her until Leia came to visit her one day when Ben was leading a late night meditation class.

"Good evening, Leia." Rey greeted as she opened the door and went to make a kettle of tea.

"I have something sort of important to ask you. I wanted to wait until Ben was gone so he wouldn't panic." Leia sat down and the table.

"Ask away. He's well out of earshot." Rey casually replied as she poured the tea into cups.

"Do you know how it feels to be pregnant?" Leia asked cautiously.

Rey stopped in her tracks, this was an odd question. Surely Leia knew what it felt like, and didn't need to ask anyone else.

"Well, no. No one's ever taught me and I've never personally experienced it." Rey replied.

"Are you aware that you are right now?"

"That I'm what?" Rey was still utterly confused.

Leia glanced at her daughter-in-laws stomach.

"Oh no, Ben and I aren't quite ready for that. There's no possible way." Rey denied it.

"These things tend to happen whether you're ready or not." Leia pointed out.

"I can't be." Rey was still denying it.

"Rey, I've noticed the change in you since my last visit. How about tomorrow I take you to the nearest city to see a doctor?" Leia offered.

"To prove I'm not, sure." Rey agreed. "But don't mention anything to Ben, we've talked about this but as a future possibility."

Rey was up most of the night, examining her stomach and thinking about how she was feeling lately. There was a small bump there, but she had chalked it up to bloating. Everything else added up, the dizziness and nausea, both tended to happen if you had something wrong with your stomach. She was also unbelievably tired, but being ill could take a toll on your body. And her emotional spurts, just a result of the exhaustion.

The next day she made sure somebody could cover the teaching of the little ones and said she had some business to take care of, she didn't dare allow Ben to know because she didn't think she could lie to him.

Leia took her to see a doctor, who said it was an honor to take care of one of the greatest heroes in the galaxy. He asked her a series of questions, which she answered as truthfully as she could. Some seemed a bit personal, but she had never seen a doctor before in her life and supposed they were normal as he didn't seem uncomfortable at all. He performed an exam of her abdomen, humming and nodding to himself.

"Alright, I think I've come to a conclusion. If you'd like we can have your mother-in

-law return." He suggested.

Rey nodded and Leia was fetched so the doctor could give his diagnosis.


	16. Chapter 16

"You are indeed pregnant, almost halfway through in fact." The doctor announced.

Rey's breath caught in her chest as she took it in. She felt slightly dizzy and needed to sit, Leia laid a hand on her shoulder to steady her.

"You really didn't know?" The doctor asked.

Leia asked him to step outside for a moment and give Rey time to come to terms with it.

Once outside, she explained to the doctor.

"Rey was alone most of her life on Jakku." She simply said.

The doctor raised his eyebrows. "I see. No parents?"

Leia shook her head sadly. "This is all entirely new to her. She'll need to be walked through it."

The doctor nodded and re-entered the room.

"Rey, you'll need to take care of yourself. Eat well and rest often. The baby needs to be nurtured and is in a delicate environment." He motioned for Leia to make her way out of the room so he could explain more in-depth as Rey was very vague on how the birth process would go. She was very afraid but confident in herself and her body.

Leia re-entered the room when the doctor offered to provide solid evidence that there was indeed a life growing inside of Rey.

He placed a small device over her stomach, and a quick and small heartbeat filled the room.

Leia choked back tears and Rey was amazed. That was her child, her and Ben had created a baby.

"Tomorrow, if you like, you can see your baby." The doctor offered and explained that they used technology to see a black and white image of a baby still in the womb. Rey agreed, and told Leia that she shouldn't say anything to Ben. Rey would bring him with her tomorrow, it might be sooner than expected but she hoped he would be happy.

"Ben, can you come with me on an important errand tomorrow?" Rey asked her husband that night.

"What is it?" Ben asked.

"I haven't been feeling well and I've decided to see a doctor, I just don't want to go alone." Rey didn't think it was a lie, just not the entire truth.

"Of course." Ben agreed immediately.

The next day she nervously led him to the same doctor, who she had made promise to not say anything to Ben either until the image of the baby was on the screen.

"Good morning, let's take a look at what's going on." He said.

Ben thought it was odd that the doctor wanted to look right at her with the ultrasound machine, but didn't question it, being completely clueless to the situation.

And when he recognized a baby on the screen, he needed to sit down. He put his elbows on his knees and covered his mouth with his hands, taking in what he was seeing. He and Rey had made a child together.

Rey was carefully watching him for his reaction.

"Ben?" She softly said. It reminded him of the time they were in an elevator together, and he was on his way to turn her over to Snoke. They had come so far since then.

Ben stood up and kissed Rey, touching his forehead to hers.

"You knew." He smiled.

"I did, but I didn't want to just tell you. Are you angry?" She cautiously asked.

"I could never be angry, I'm going to be a father." Ben stared in wonder at his baby on the screen.

The doctor informed them that they would be having a boy based on the image, and sent them home.

Rey was restricted by her husband on how much she could exert herself, especially as the baby grew. She became increasingly uncomfortable as the weeks wore on, she was grateful she was almost halfway through when she found out.

She also agreed to allow Ben to name the baby. He surprised her by immediately wanting to name the baby Han, even though it was a touchy subject, he knew his father loved him and deserved a namesake. There was not a doubt in his mind that he wanted to do it.

When the time finally came, Rey didn't realize it at first. She felt uncomfortable most of the day, and informed Leia she thought it might be good to see the doctor later in the day if it didn't stop.

But the moment she told Leia that she was getting these aches in and out, the older woman knew her grandchild was about to make an appearance.

"You need to go lie in bed, I'll get Ben." Leia told her.

Rey nodded and made her way back to her home, now wincing when the pain came. It was getting progressively stronger. She knew the birth process would be painful, so once she was in her room, she made herself as comfortable as possible.

"Rey!" She heard Ben yell for her as the front door slammed shut.

"Ben." Rey gasped.

He rushed into the room and took her hand as she sat up in bed.

"My mother went to retrieve the doctor, he'll be here soon. How much does it hurt? Do you need anything?" He asked.

"It's not so bad right now, but it'll get worse. Once that starts I'm not going to want you to leave me."

"Of course not, I'll stay right here. Let me get some water first, I think you'll need it."

Rey nodded her thanks as another wave of pain passed through her. Ben left the room to retrieve a pitcher of water and a glass.

It took another fifteen minutes, but soon the doctor arrived. He brought a medley of supplies and a nurse to aide him.

"Rey I need you to get up for just a minute." He said. Rey began to lift herself up, but didn't get far before Ben scooped her up. She tucked her forehead into his neck and wrapped her arms around him as yet another wave of pain hit. Ben held her closely in an attempt to help her through it.

Meanwhile, the doctor laid down a waterproof cover and a soft blanket for Rey to lay on without causing damage to the sheets. When he was done, Ben set her back down and sat in a chair next to her.

"As the baby gets closer to arriving, the contractions will become closer and more painful, and you will know when it's time to deliver." The nurse instructed as the doctor prepared for the birth.

And indeed, everything became more and more painful. Leia helped them both cope and said she would leave when it was time.

Ben was utterly distressed, he had seen Rey in a lot of pain in his life, but this was causing sweat to pool on her forehead. Every contraction her face screwed up and she gripped his hand tightly along with the blanket. He wasn't sure he would want to do this a second time, it was very difficult to see her that way.

Finally, hours later, a tiny baby boy arrived. It was the most exhausting and painful thing Rey had ever done in her life, but the small person resting on her chest was well worth it. Baby Han had arrived screaming, but settled as soon as he was set on Rey. She had never loved anybody this much, and had never felt so at peace with herself.

Ben sat next to her on the bed, in awe of the baby and his wife.

"You were incredible." He told her as he kissed her temple. "I've never seen anything like that."

"It happens every day, Ben." Rey grinned, blushing at the compliment.

"Not for us." He smiled in admiration.


	17. Chapter 17

Life was very different after that. The birth of the child of two Jedis was announced to the school, and spread quickly throughout the galaxy.

Han Solo was already a famous name, and it would now be known as the infant who came from the bloodline of Darth Vader, Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker, Ben Solo, and Rey, the greatest hope the rebellion had when the war was in full motion.

Ben spent as much time as possible at home, helping his wife with their son, who he would never tire of looking at. Any fears he had of being a father were gone, replaced by confidence and a need to protect and provide for this tiny person.

He told Han stories about his family, which proved to be the easiest way for him to soothe the infant.

What proved to be the most amazing sight in the galaxy was the image of Rey, deeply asleep with Han looking content as he had ever been.

Ben came home from holding a class, unable to avoid some duties. And he walked into their bedroom to find his family fast asleep. How beautiful did his wife look making his child feel safe and loved?

It couldn't have been four months after the birth of Han when Rey discovered she was feeling the exact same way she had when she was carrying Han. She groaned and reluctantly visited with her doctor, who confirmed she was carrying yet another member of the Solo family.

Ben was overjoyed, and told Rey he was excited for the bond their children would have, being so close in age. They were both without siblings, which is something Ben wish he'd had growing up.

Rey snapped at him, informing him that it was easy for him to say when he wouldn't be the one carrying and birthing the child. She felt like she had just gotten past the sleepless phase and now she was starting over.

Luke Solo was the easiest of her two boys. He hardly cried, slept all night very early on, and was very independent, where Han was was needy with his mother.

"And you were concerned." Ben wrapped an arm around his wife's waist as they watched their sons sleep.

"No more children, Ben Solo." Rey declared to her husband.

At three years old, Luke showed signs of being sensitive with the Force. Ben swelled with pride, and Rey had to remind him that it wouldn't do to show favoritism, as Han hadn't shown any abilities yet. Neither of them wanted one of their children to feel less important and loved because they weren't Force users.

But as they were certain that Han possessed no abilities, he was climbing a tree under his mother's supervision when a branch broke under his weight. Rey dived to catch her older son as Ben turned away with Luke in his arms so he wouldn't see his brother take a fall.

And there was Han, slowly dropping to the ground, unknowingly using the Force to lessen the impact significantly.

Rey repeated over and over that he was no longer allowed to climb that high and kissed her son, grateful for his safety.

Both boys joined their class at the proper age, Luke slightly jealous of Han because he was older. But their father still gave them private lessons at home.

Rey had sworn off having anymore children, but being outnumbered by three boys in her home and teaching the smallest of the pupils at the academy made her oddly long for a little girl to bond with.

"Ben, what do you think about having one more child?" She inquired as they sat back and watched their children play with their friends.

"I though you said no more." Ben said from his place behind her. He was sitting on a rock, with Rey on the ground positioned between his knees.

"I know, but I want to try once more for a girl."

"We can have as many as you want." Ben brushed his fingers along his wife's hairline. She craned her back to gawk at him.

"I'm drawing the line at three, we have enough on our hands." She informed him.

It was true, along with their own children, there were others here who were like Rey, and had no family to speak of. Whether it was through abandonment or tragedy, Rey personally took responsibility for them and treated them as her own, so no child here would know what it was like to be completely alone.

And so with Han being five, and Luke four, Ben and Rey were successful in conceiving a third child. The boys were more than eager to help their mother in any way, excited for a younger sibling to dote on.

Rey decided this time she didn't want to know if she was carrying a boy or a girl before giving birth. Whatever the outcome, she would love her youngest child. Even if she did end up in a sea of testosterone.

The time came much earlier than she counted on, and progressed much quicker. This child was here within an hour, a quick and much less painful birth than Han and Luke.

And Rey was pleasantly surprised to find it was a girl. She was certain it was a third boy, she felt nearly exactly the same as she had with her sons. But it was a girl.

Leia cried more than she ever had in her life when they announced that the baby girl was deemed Leia Solo.

"After the woman who never lost hope for me." Ben kissed his mother's head as she held her new grandchild.

Leia was adored by all, she had her mother's lightly colored eyes, but her father's dark and thick hair. Ben thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on.

Her brother's were her biggest admirers. As she grew, she followed them everywhere and they indulged her. They watched out for her every second, and Rey couldn't be prouder of her boys.

She was also their third and final child to show her Force abilities, and at only two years old.

Rey and Ben were both surprised, unsure if any of their children at all would inherit the ability. But they supposed the gene was too strong, they were a family of Jedis.

"Can you believe how far we've come?" Rey asked her husband as they watched their teenage sons help their ten year old sister after classes.

Ben could hardly believe it. He thought he had it all figured out, Kylo Ren was who he was and was his destiny. When he became infatuated with Rey, he brushed it off. When they began sleeping together, he denied any possibility of there being anything more between them. He could still feel the blaster shot in his back when he thought about the memory.

And then there was Rey, yelling profanities and insults at who turned out to be her entire future. If anyone had told her that after he captured her in the woods, she would have called them unstable and delusional. But it made for some interesting stories for their children as they got older. She had lost hope in Ben after he proposed to rule the galaxy with her, she thought he was dead and only Kylo Ren remained. She couldn't have been more wrong.

Embracing the gray in the Force was the greatest achievement to date. As far back as anyone could remember, any sliver of darkness was frowned upon and needed to be snuffed out. But Ben and Rey learned it was okay to have both within you, and taught their pupils that everyone had darkness within them, but they also had light. They taught them to achieve balance and harmony within themselves to become the greatest generation the Jedi had ever had.

 _Thank you all who read and reviewed. This was my first Star Wars piece and I enjoyed it!_


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